9 Tips to Stop Yelling At Your Kids Right Now

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9 Tips To Stop Yelling At Your Kids Right Now

Before we get into these tips to stop yelling at your kids, look at 14 ways to stop angry mommy in her tracks and 14 MORE ways to stop being an angry mommy.

Okay, are you back? Good.

Do you find yourself yelling at your children? You don’t mean to, but it just happens.

Yelling can be something you struggle with on a daily or something you struggle with every once in a while. Regardless of how often you deal with yelling at your children, you need to know that there is hope! You can stop the vicious cycle today.

Why do we yell as moms?

There are so many reasons we start yelling at our kids as moms. I dive deeper into the main reasons at the end of this post.

Sometimes we yell because we are at our wit’s end and have no idea how to handle our situation.

Other times we yell because we have allowed frustration to grow inside us. We think we have it all under control, but something happens, and we snap.

Whatever the reason, yelling typically always feels like the ONLY way.

But yelling at our children (or even our spouse) is not the only way, and it’s not even the best way.

You can become a calmer mom and stop yelling at your kids today with a few simple habits.

Is Yelling At Your Child Harmful?

Are you asking yourself, is it really important to curb my yelling? Is my yelling really harming my relationship with my children?

It is very important to curb your yelling, and yes, yelling can harm your relationship with your child. What are the long-term affects of yelling at your child ? Healthline shares some interesting points about how yelling affects our children long-term.

How can calmer parenting impact your relationships?

Just a note: Sometimes, when I share these tips, I receive comments stating that what I am writing is impossible. No parent can be calm all the time. And these commenters are absolutely right.

Please note that I am not claiming that you can be calm 100% of the time or that you will stop yelling 100% of the time. We are all human, and human nature is not perfect. I am simply saying there is a better way, and you can stop yelling and be a calmer mom most of the time. How do I know? I know because I’ve been there.

Becoming a calmer parent can impact relationships outside of your parenting.

It can help you become a calmer spouse, sibling, friend, or child. Practicing becoming calmer in your parenting will improve your relationships with your children.

9 Important Tips to Help You Stop Yelling At Your Kids Today

Give Warnings

Have you ever heard this tip? Give your children a warning before the consequence. Raise your hand if you have heard it. Raise your hand if you forget this tip all too often.

Our children are simply human, just like us. They will do things that they shouldn’t do or that we expect them not to do.

When you see disobedience taking place, give your child a warning first.

A warning will typically ward off any misbehavior if given correctly and consistently.

When your child knows what to expect, mommy and daddy will follow through on their warning, making them less likely to push boundaries.

A warning is also a great way to prepare your child for something that will happen. For example, if you know you need to leave the park in 10 minutes, start relaying this information to your child. “We have to leave in 10 minutes. In 5 minutes we have to leave the park. etc.” When your child knows what is about to take place, they feel more prepared and may not throw a fit. (Not always, but typically.)

Take a Breather and Step Away From the Situation

When our child’s emotions start to escalate, oftentimes, so do our own emotions. This leads to yelling at our kids without meaning to.

If you feel yourself becoming frustrated with the situation at hand, take a breather and step away. Leave your child to their tantrum, as long as they aren’t in harm’s way, and get away for a few minutes.

Taking a breather can help you calm down and separate your emotions from your child’s.

It can also help to have a mantra when you practice this “pause.” My favorite mantras are “This too shall pass.” and “I can only control myself.” These mantras can help bring back into focus the bigger picture. You can’t reach your child’s heart with anger and frustration.

Have Set Boundaries For Your Children

Set clear boundaries and expectations for yourself and your children.

Be clear with these boundaries. Make sure there are no gray areas for your children to misinterpret. Make them straight and to the point.

If your children know what is expected of them, they are less likely to dig their heels in.

Lower Your Expectations of Your Children and Yourself

Having boundaries and household rules is great. However, it is important to evaluate your expectations often.

Are the expectations you put on your children reasonable? Are these expectations attainable? Or will they constantly fail miserably because of your expectations of them?

What about the expectations you have for yourself? Are they unattainable?

Look at your expectations for yourself and your children, then change them if necessary.

For example, if you know your child needs an afternoon nap but then schedule a lunch date in the middle of their nap, you can’t reasonably expect your child to make it through without a meltdown. Setting your expectations high at a time like this is unrealistic.

Pay attention to your triggers and your child’s triggers. Be mindful and what their needs are and what your own needs are.

Teach the Lesson or Give the Consequence Later When You are Calm

One of the best pieces I have ever received about parenting was this. Teach the lesson or give the consequence later when you are calm. You cannot appropriately teach a lesson or give consequences while yelling at your kids.

If our child is melting down and we find ourselves melting down as well, right then is NOT the time to teach the valuable lesson or give a reasonable consequence.

Right then would be the time to take a breather, practice a pause, and give both you and your child time to cool down.

You will not be able to give an appropriate consequence or teach a valuable lesson if you are angry. The lesson will most likely come out in angry yells, and your child will not be able to retain it because their emotions are heightened.

Focus on calming down first, lessons and consequences later.

Know Your Child’s Triggers

Pay attention and know what your child’s triggers are.

Do you have a highly sensitive child who melts down if they have sensory overload?

Does your child need a snack in the middle of the day? Do they need a nap? Or will they be cranky and emotional?

Pay attention to your child’s triggers. You will have an easier time assessing your child’s meltdown (and less likely to have one yourself) if you know why your child COULD be melting down.

Think About The Big Picture

The bigger picture is your child’s heart. Not their behavior. You cannot control a person’s behavior. Not really.

But you can win your child’s heart.

When you feel exhausted and worn out from motherhood, give pause and remember the bigger picture.

Connecting to your family’s heart.

Go Softer But Firm, Not Louder

When you are at your wit’s end, sometimes it’s easier to go louder.

But just because you are loud doesn’t mean your child is retaining anything you are saying. They are probably trying to figure out how to get out of the line of fire.

Instead of getting louder, get softer yet firm.

Lower your voice and talk in a soft way. You can be firm without being loud and yelling.

Follow Through Always

Consistency. Consistency. And more consistency.

We’ve all been there. We say no to our children, or we tell them they need to please do something, and then they dig their heels in.

It’s easy to give in. To say okay, fine, have it your way.

But when you do this, you are teaching your child that they can push mommy or daddy just a little bit and get their way.

It’s important to always consistently follow through. Even when you don’t want to. Parenting is not easy, follow through is hard. But your end goal is not the here and now. It’s the future. It’s shaping your child’s character. What is easy now will most likely give you a headache tomorrow.

5 Reasons Moms Yell When We Don’t Mean To.

You’re Tired

You are not getting enough rest. You stay up late, get up early, and work long hours.

Whatever the reason, you are tired. Being tired and exhausted makes it easier for our nerves and frustrations to boil to the surface.

You’re Not Taking Care of Yourself

If you are not putting self-care on your to-do list, you will put yourself on the back burner.

Putting yourself on the back burner as a mom is a recipe for disaster.

You’re Taking on Too Much

Your to-do list is too long.

You are taking on too much and expecting yourself to be able to handle everything on your plate without asking for help.

Your Expectations are Unrealistic

Your expectations of yourself are way too unrealistic. Maybe your expectations of your child are equally unrealistic. Whatever it may be, you expect too much and feel like a failure when you or your child do not meet these expectations.

You Feel Like You’re Not In Control

There are so many things out of our control as moms and even humans. Our frustrations build up when we do not feel in control. But you can learn how to stop yelling at your kids with these simple tips.

Learn to let go of a little bit of that control. Start enjoying your life more. Remember, you cannot control anyone but yourself.

related read: 5 Quick Ways to Make Your Home Feel More Peaceful Today

What to do when you yell at your child.

If you find yourself constantly wanting to yell at your child, it’s important to take a step back and examine your own heart. What is causing your anger response? Is it something deep inside you that needs to be addressed? Is it feeling out of control of the situation? Are you stressed? Figure out why you are responding in an angry way.

Having tools at your disposal to help you stop angry mommy in her tracks is very important.

Don’t be afraid to apologize to your child if you are having a bad moment. I have apologized to my children more times than I can count!

Give your anger to God.

Reach out to a counselor to help you resolve any issues you know are there.

There are so many tools at your disposal to help you stop yelling at your kids.

If you are new to the Peaceful Nest Blog, welcome!

Be sure to read my top posts on parenting:

• Why Consistent Parenting Matters
• 12 Habits of Immensely Peaceful Moms
• 63 Mom Hacks That Are Pure Genius
• Connect With Your Child and Build Up Their Heart

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