Becoming a Calmer Mom: Let’s Talk Self-Care

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Becoming a Calmer Mom: Let’s Talk Self-Care

This post is one of a 7 part series: Becoming a calmer mom.

I will be updating this page as I add more posts to the series Becoming a Calmer Mom. 

If you haven’t read 14 Ways to Beat Angry Mom, you should start there.

You will be able to read an overview of all the topics I will be covering in each post.

How do we become calmer as moms?

Today I will be discussing two habits to start implementing in your day to day life that can help you become a calmer mom when life hits you.

First I want to say this: No one is ever calm all the time. It’s not possible. I lose my cool sometimes too.

It’s human nature.

But there are certain steps we can take as moms to help us be calmer when life hits us or the daily grind drags us down.

Sometimes, when we least expect it, angry mommy comes out.

Maybe your child just won’t listen. How many times do you have to say “please clean your room? or stop hitting your brother?”

Before you know it, you snap at your child or spouse. Seriously, can’t you just listen? (ugh, I’ve said this before. Not a great feeling afterward.)

I’ve been there. I have had to apologize for snapping at my child before.

Do you know what the cool thing about kids is? They are quick to forgive because they love you even with all your faults.

We can all agree that “angry mommy” as I like to call her, can and will happen, for many reasons.

• fatigue
• stress
• anxiety
• disobedience
• high expectations

These are just to name a few.

Here’s when angry mommy becomes a problem. When she rules your life and household. 

We cannot allow angry mommy to come in and take residence. She’s like the barely tolerable relative that you see every once in a while but wouldn’t want her living with you full time.

She wreaks havoc on your family, your marriage, your relationships, and your household. It’s our job to reign her in and get her under control, then kick her out of the house. (not to say she won’t try to come to visit again, she will.)

The first habit is self-care.

Okay, I know you all have heard this analogy before. Your airplane is going down, whose air mask do you put on first?

It’s not your spouse or children. It’s your own.

You have to fill your cup first to be able to pour out. And when you do? Don’t feel guilty about it.

It is hard to drink from an empty cup. You have to take the time to fill it up, or you will experience fatigue and stress more often.

Self-care looks different for everyone. Figure out what it looks like for you and then set aside time to take care of yourself.

A few ideas are:

• bubble bath with your favorite music
• spa day
• shopping day
• coffee date with a friend or by yourself
• reading a good book
• getting your hair done
• eating healthier
• going for a run or putting in that workout DVD

Your self-care will not look like your best friends self-care. That is okay. Figure out what you enjoy and do it, this will help you get one step closer to being a calmer mom.

The second habit is setting clear rules and boundaries for your kids.

What are your household rules? What do you expect from your children?

Sit down with your spouse and figure out what you expect from your children. Do you expect them to be kind to each other? Respectful to you? No jumping on the furniture or running outside?

Whatever your household rules are stick to them.

We keep our household rules pretty simple and follow the Lord’s two commands. Love your God and love your neighbor.

We expect our children to be respectful to each other and mommy and daddy, anything that doesn’t show respect for others isn’t tolerated in our home.

So if they hit their sibling, it’s not tolerated. If they disobey mommy and daddy, it’s not tolerated.

Very simple.

What are your household rules? They may look different than mine, and that is okay. Whatever they are, make sure your children know there is NO gray area.

Everything is black and white.

I hate disciplining my children. But it’s something I have to do. We all do as parents.

When you set the rules and boundaries be sure to follow through.

It’s all in the follow-through, mommas. There have times that I told my children, if you disobey me again you will be not be allowed to watch T.V. for three days.

On the third day sometimes I’m tempted to give in. But I can’t! If I do, it’ll undo the whole point of the discipline!

When your children know what to expect, the boundary-pushing will start to decrease. They will remember, oh mommy is serious, I better not push it.

When the boundary-pushing decreases, the calmer mommy becomes, because you won’t have to discipline for the same things all the time.

Self-care and clear boundaries, these two habits are difficult to form. But they are so important momma!

If you are new to the Peaceful Nest Blog, welcome!

Be sure to read my top posts on parenting:

• Why Consistent Parenting Matters
• 12 Habits of Immensely Peaceful Moms
• 63 Mom Hacks That are Pure Genius

Are you looking for ways to become a peaceful mom but you aren’t sure how?

I created a free planner for moms like me, who want to create a peaceful home but let the stress of never having it all together defeat them, because who really ever has it together? The best we can do is plan for peace and roll with the punches, right? If you want your free planner you can get it below!

Are you looking for a mommy tribe?

Our Facebook group, From Chaos to Calm, is full of encouraging and supportive moms just like you. We would love to have you join! Join From Chaos to Calm Mom group on Facebook.

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