Six Habits to Help You Stop Being a Reactive Parent

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What is a Reactive Parent? 

Do you know what it means to be a reactive parent? Have you ever exploded all over your child out of frustration? Do you want to stop being a reactive parent?

Maybe your child is having a temper tantrum, throwing themselves around on the floor, and you don’t know what to do. 

It seems like no matter what you do to help your child during a temper tantrum. It’s not working.

When we react to our child’s behavior based on emotion, that is reactive parenting.

I am not going to lie to you. I have been a reactive parent sometimes. It isn’t easy to put aside our emotions when our child is melting down or not acting like we believe they should be. 

Frustration can mount, leading to irritation and annoyance, and then we become emotional, allowing our emotions to guide how we react to our child’s misbehavior.

The good news is you don’t have to stay stuck as a reactive parent. Instead, you can decide daily to wake up, be a more peaceful parent, and practice peaceful parenting rather than reacting to your child’s misbehavior in every situation with your own emotions.

14 Habits of Moms Who Are (Almost) Always Calm

Why Do We Sink Into Being A Reactive Parent? 

It is easy to sink into reactive parenting. However, allowing our emotions to control us can be something many people do in every area of their lives. It is fully possible to stop being a reactive parent.

Only allowing emotions to control us instead of us owning our emotions can lead to situations that can be avoided, hurt feelings, and damaged relationships.

Why is Peaceful Parenting a Better Option? 

Peaceful parenting is better than reactive parenting because it says, “I’m going to put aside my own emotions while you are melting down and get on your level and help you work through what is going on instead of adding fuel to the fire with my uncontrolled emotional outburst.” 

Every mom will react out of emotions sometimes, but it doesn’t have to be the norm for her family. 

Now you will not be a calm and peaceful mom all the time. It’s just not possible. I wish I could be, and I’m sure you want to, but you are only human. I am only human. But there are things that we can do to help us parent, from peace the majority of the time.

Reacting out of your emotions when your child is having a difficult time does not have to be the norm for your family. And when we take the time to start practicing peaceful parenting, then it becomes easier to connect with our children and connect with their hearts. 

Six Habits to Help You Stop Being a Reactive Parent 

Take Care of Self-Care 

Self-care is an important part of life. We start by teaching our children how to care for themselves, so why do we think we need to sacrifice our self-care to be good mothers as moms?

It’s not true. It’s a lie that society likes to tell us. You do not have to sacrifice your self-care to be a good mother. You are a good mother when you prioritize taking care of yourself.

When you prioritize self-care as a mother or a father, you show your children that taking care of yourself is important. You also take the time to ensure you feel your best to give your children your best when they need you the most.

Practice Counting to 10 (or 50) 

If your child is having a difficult time and you are finding that you’re having a hard time dealing with your emotions, one of the best things you can do for yourself and your child is to leave the room, count to 10, or even 50 if you need to and get a breather. 

Doing so will help you calm yourself down to better manage your child’s emotions with them.

Set Aside Your Emotions and Figure Out Your Triggers 

It’s hard as humans to set aside our emotions. We like to react to things based on emotions and how we feel about something. But when it comes to mothering our children, we cannot allow our emotions to control us.

If you find that you were reacting to your child’s behavior based on your own emotions, it’s important to figure out what triggers cause you to be emotional towards your child. 

When you do this, it becomes easier to approach situations in a calm manner rather than an emotional way.

Pay Attention To Your Child’s Triggers and Needs

Not only should you pay attention to your own needs and triggers. Likewise, paying attention to your child’s triggers and needs is essential.

Children cannot handle emotions as adults can. And it’s not fair to ask them to.

It’s our job to teach them how to recognize emotions and handle them as they grow. But as a mom, you can pay careful attention to what your child’s triggers are and what their needs are.

For example, if you have a toddler who needs a nap around noon every day because they are exhausted, then it is not fair to them to plan something during their nap time and expect them to be on their best behavior. 

That is what I mean by paying attention to their triggers and their needs.

Get On Your Child’s Level

Growing up, I was always taught that children are just little people. And that you can talk to them like they have their thoughts, opinions, and ideas about things because they do. It is possible to get down on your child’s level when they’re having a meltdown or having a difficult time and talk to them about it in a way they can understand.

Sometimes all your child needs is a hug from you and knowing they are OK. 

The other day, I spoke to my brother about children who come from trauma. I know this doesn’t apply to everybody, but it’s a good general rule, I think, for all children. 

Connection with your child happens in those moments when they’re struggling. When they have a difficult time, you pick them up, hold them and tell them it’s OK, it’s gonna be all right. 

That is when connections with children who come from trauma or children in general typically happen.

So do not be afraid to get on your child’s level to talk to them about what they’re struggling with and that moment. Focus on connection and then correction.

Set Clear Boundaries and Practice Consistency With Your Parenting

Consistent parenting is important for many reasons. First, your children need to know what to expect from you, whether you’re tired or not. 

Setting boundaries for your children play an important part in their life. When they know that specific behavior is not acceptable, they’re less likely to try to push those boundaries. So be consistent with your boundaries and how you parent your children.

Do you want to learn more about becoming a peaceful parent? 

Becoming a peaceful parent is a process. It does not happen immediately. It is possible to stop being a reactive parent. It takes time. But there are certain habits and steps you can take to help you become a more peaceful parent and stop being a reactive parent. I offer some great ideas in my post 14 ways to say goodbye to an angry mommy, steps to become a more peaceful parent, and 12 habits of incredibly peaceful moms.

Related: 14 Best Tips To Overcome Angry Mommy Today

If you are new to the Peaceful Nest Blog, welcome!

Be sure to read my top posts on parenting:

• Why Consistent Parenting Matters
• 12 Habits of Immensely Peaceful Moms
• 63 Mom Hacks That Are Pure Genius
• Connect With Your Child and Build Up Their Heart

Are you looking for ways to become a peaceful mom, but you aren’t sure how?

I created a free planner for moms who want to create a peaceful home but let the stress of never having it all together defeat them because whoever has it together? The best we can do is a plan for peace and roll with the punches. If you want your free planner, you can get it below!

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