Why Consistent Parenting Matters

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Do you ever struggle with consistent parenting?

This post is one of a 13 part series: Incredibly Peaceful Moms. If you haven’t read this series yet and you want to go back to the beginning start with:

12 Habits of Incredibly Peaceful Moms. This will give you an overview of the topics that are covered during this post.

Below are the rest of the series posts:

Why Sibling Disagreements are Good For Your Kids

How to Give Your Child Back Their Free Time

Turn Off the Screens for Peace’s Sake

1 Secret to Go From Angry Mommy to Calm Mommy

Don’t Over Schedule Your Family

Are you looking for ways to become a peaceful mom but you aren’t sure how?

I created a free planner for moms like me, who want to create a peaceful home but let the stress of never having it all together defeat them, because who really ever has it together? The best we can do is plan for peace and roll with the punches, right? If you want your free planner you can get it below!

What is Consistent Parenting?

Have you ever wondered what the term consistent parenting means? Probably not, because it’s very self explanatory. Consistent parenting is just that. Consistently parenting your kids the way you know you are supposed to or the way you and your spouse agreed to parent them.

It’s easy to get bogged down with life as a parent. We’re tired, we have too much on our plates.

Let’s just let that behavior slide this one time. Who is our kid really hurting anyway? If you aren’t consistently parenting your kid, even when you are tired or don’t feel like it, your child will start to see gaps in your parenting, they may also get mixed signals on what is acceptable and what is not. Consistent parenting is important because it is the cornerstone that our entire parenting builds on.

Early on in our marriage my husband and I sat down and discussed how we wanted to parent our children. We discussed our convictions, how we want to raise our children and we looked at the big picture. What sort of adults do we want to shape our children to be? Yes, I know each child is an individual. They will go on to do live their own dreams. This is not what I mean. I mean we decided early on that throughout their childhood there are certain characteristics we want to instill in our children, that will help shape who they are as an adult.

Here is an example: Respect. Our children are taught early on what it means to be respectful not only to mommy and daddy but also to everyone else, including other children. Disrespect is not tolerated in our home. This is only one example of the characteristics we focus on in our consistent parenting.

What disrupts consistent parenting?

So many different areas can disrupt how we consistently parent. Our schedules often times get in the way, we are so busy, we may miss areas in our children that need correcting.

Because of our busy schedules, we are usually exhausted, over the day by the time we can focus on our children. Maybe the last thing you want to do is correct your child after a long day at work.

Another area that disrupts our consistent parenting is not being on the same page as your spouse.

How to get started with consistent parenting.

The very first thing you need to do is get on the same page as your spouse.

Every person was raised differently. My husband and I were raised differently, we both have different values and ideas. But we were able to mesh those experiences together and decide how we wanted and didn’t want to raise our children. You can do this too. Have a deep conversation and get on the same page. Discuss what you want your family rules to be, what is acceptable and what is a non negotiable hard no.

Your children are depending on it!

For example, we do not allow back talk from our children (and we don’t back talk each other either.) Backtalk is a form of disrespect in our opinion, we teach our children if they have a problem with someone, they can openly discuss it with them first in a kind manner, even mommy and daddy. But back talking doesn’t help anyone. If the person won’t listen, finding a trusted adult to help is the next step. Our job is to give our children tools they can use as adults and fix the weak areas that will do nothing to serve them as they grow older.

After you are on the same page as your spouse, get motivated and focus on one habit at time.

Charlotte Mason once said: “The mother who takes pains to endow her children with good habits secures for herself smooth and easy days; while she who lets their habits take care of themselves has a weary life of endless friction with the children.”

She was an educator in the early 1800s. I love her views on habit forming in ourselves and our children. She suggests taking one habit at a time and focus solely on it until it is mastered. If your child is struggling with disobedience, focus only on instilling obedience in them. Then move on to the next habit.

This step may sound easy enough but it’s actually the toughest part. Consistently work on this habit means doing it even when you don’t want to. Even when you are tired from a long day of work. Even if you are busy. Set aside what you can and consistently work on the habit you have decided on. If you work outside the home, get day care providers and other family members on the same page as you and ask them to please be watchful of these habits in your children and work with you.

Take time out every night or week and evaluate where your child is. What progress is he or she making? What can you focus on more?

Taking those great pains will be painful. But the pay off will be amazing.

Why being a consistent parent matters.

Consistently parenting your child shows your child you are serious about certain behaviors and areas in their lives. It also shows your child that mommy and daddy are on the same page.

Your child will begin to know what to expect. They will stop trying to push boundaries as much, children will always try to push boundaries a little bit. But with consistent parenting the boundary pushing will go down. Your child will begin to see they can’t push the boundaries because mommy and daddy are taking this serious.

Your child will know what to expect and they will begin to be more comfortable with following the rules.

Raising children to be the adults we know they can be is hard work. But it’s the most important job you can have.

The Last Thing You Need to Know about Being a Consistent Parent

Consistently parenting your child is not easy. But it is 100% worth it. You may not see the pay off right away. You and your spouse will have great pains trying to instill certain habits in your child. But your consistency will eventually pay off. Before long you will look back and realize how far you have come with your child and family.

What are some ways you keep the peace in your home? I would love to add your tip to my series! You can submit it here.

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