You Need to Justify Your Parenting Decisions

Do you ever feel you need to justify your parenting decisions to other people?

Do you ever feel like you need to justify your parenting decisions?

While pregnant with S, I allowed B to watch way too much television.

I had bad morning sickness and was constantly in the bathroom. She was two, and I found trying to entertain her a nightmare while I ran to and from the bathroom.

So on came the television.

I also felt extremely guilty about it. I remember texting my mom several times a week, telling her I felt like a horrible mother because of the amount of screen time B was consuming.

I reasoned with myself and justified my decision to anyone who would listen, many of whom did not even ask, nor did they care.

Then I thought, “Why am I trying to justify my decisions?”

Does it honestly matter what someone else thinks about my parenting?

Do I really need to justify my parenting decisions?

That’s what it all boils down to. Worrying about what others think.

In today’s culture, we have become accustomed to people voicing their opinions on matters that aren’t their business.

So as a reflex, we automatically justify every decision we make.

I didn’t breastfeed because…

I breastfed my child until he was 3 because…

I don’t feed my kids processed food because…

My kids eat happy meals 3 times a week because…

I don’t allow screen time ever because…

My kids watch 4 hours of television a day because…

This is where the term “mommy wars” comes into play.

People want to tell your their opinion on your decisions when they know nothing about them … most of the time.

However, they could care less about the reason behind your decisions … most of the time.

When B was around 2.5, she started wanting to pick out what she would wear for the day.

I let her because, well, it’s too adorable, and also, I believe children should have opportunities to express themselves.

One day she decided she wanted to wear a pair of striped pink pants with a blue polka-dotted shirt and leopard dress shoes. We went shopping that day.

But I honestly didn’t care if she wanted to wear something that didn’t match because who was she hurting? We were walking in JcPennys when a younger girl, who looked to be about 16 or 17, and a woman walked past us. The younger girl said loudly, “When I have children, I am going to make sure they ALWAYS match.” while giving me a side-eye.

I just giggled to myself and thought, “yea, you have no idea what having children is even like.”

R elated Read: Your Job As a Mommy Isn’t Important and Other Lies We Tell Ourselves.

People like to make snap judgments without all the information. They like to make you feel like you need to justify your parenting decisions.

People like to hear themselves talk. And most believe that because they have an opinion, they should get to voice it whenever and wherever they want to.

Instead of shrugging off these judgments, we, as mommies, take them personally. We want to justify our decisions because we don’t want anyone to judge us and our parenting.

But who really cares if the stranger on the street judges your parenting?

They don’t know you and your children.

You know you and your children.

Here is the thing.

I do not need to explain to you or the stranger on the street why I had three c-sections. I often find myself offering the explanation anyway.

I do not have to explain why I stopped breastfeeding my children.

Or why I choose to be a stay-at-home mom and why I am homeschooling my children.

There is no reason for me to offer an explanation to the stranger giving me a side eye about why my child is not wearing matching clothes, is extremely vocal in public, or why she hasn’t touched a single bite of dinner.

“Well, she’s a light eater.”

“She is excited.”

“She dressed herself.”

“My milk supply is extremely low.”

“I believe home school education is the best option for children and trumps public school education.”

“My children need me at home. I couldn’t imagine sending them to a sitter every day for 8 hours or more a day.”

“I had to have two emergency c-sections, and consequently, every pregnancy afterward has to be a c-section.”

I find myself saying.

Constantly.

Justifying to others who show way too much interest in my parenting decisions.

But it doesn’t matter. It’s none of their business.

Quit justifying your decisions, guys!

Are your children safe?

Are they loved?

Do your children have their needs met?

If you answered yes to all those questions, then every other question doesn’t warrant an answer.

We need to be confident in our decisions for our children. We are their parents. We know them the best. We know what works for our family. We also know what doesn’t work for our family.

So the next time a person asks you a question that you don’t think warrants an answer tell them that!

As long as your children are loved, safe, and taken care of, you don’t have to justify your parenting decisions to anyone.

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