How to Teach Your Child to be Grateful

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We live in an entitled world where many people believe the world owes them something. 

It is important that we teach our children the world does not owe them anything. Hard work and perseverance are what will help them in life. When we raise children who don’t believe they’re entitled then they’re more likely to be grateful for the things and people in their lives.

Why is entitlement wrong? 

Entitlement is believing that you deserve something for nothing. It is wrong because it promotes a selfish nature in ourselves and our children. It is important for our children to learn to look outside of themselves and realize that they are not always handed what they want in life.

When should we start teaching our children how to be grateful? 

I believe that as soon as your child is able to understand the concept of being grateful for something they have or someone in their life that is when you should start teaching them. This actually happens a lot younger than we think.

Why is it important to teach gratefulness? 

Teaching a spirit of gratefulness is very important for our children. It helps them look outside of themselves and shred the selfish nature that is inherent as humans.

It allows them to look at other people outside of themselves and put themselves in other people’s shoes. Teaching gratefulness also shows them how to show other people they appreciate what is done for them. Because let’s be honest no one likes to be around an entitled person who thinks that the things that you do for them are simply because they deserve it.

How can you teach being grateful when the world teaches selfishness? 

The first thing that you can do to teach gratefulness to your children is to model it inside your home. If you model a selfish atmosphere for your children they will become selfish. But if you model gratefulness and teach them to think about other people outside of themselves they will adapt and adopt those values.

Explain what a privilege is to your child

The first thing that you can do to help teach gratefulness to your child is to teach what a privilege is. A privilege is something that you don’t automatically have. It’s something that is given to you and it can be taken away. For example, I always tell my children that being able to have screen time is a privilege, not a right and that is why they have to earn the privilege of having screen time every day.

Clarify the difference between a privilege and a right often. 

A right is something you automatically have you do not have to earn it. It is important to explain to your child what the difference between a privilege and a right is.

Like I stated in my example above when my child thinks that they deserve to do something just because they want to, this is thinking they have a right to do something. I explain to them that certain things like being able to go to the zoo with mommy and daddy or being able to have a new pair of shoes are a privilege because we give them. These are not rights that they just automatically get.

This is a great way to approach when your child is begging for a new toy or something along those lines. This will help teach them to be grateful for the privileges that they do have in their lives. And not automatically assume just because they want something they have the right to have it.

Talk about what you are thankful for as a family often

Talk about what you are thankful for as a family often. Also, talk about the people in your life that are important to you and why you are thankful for them. Talk about how you are thankful for having a roof over your head, food to eat, clothes on your back, etc. This instills the thoughts of gratefulness in your child for what they have.

Stay consistent with your child’s behavior

Consistency is the key to parenting. It is something I talk about a lot on the Peaceful Nest. If we expect certain behaviors out of our children we have to stay diligent and be consistent with our reactions to those behaviors. So if you teaching your child to be grateful and talking about privilege and rights then don’t give into them every single time they beg for a toy at the store. Or every single time they throw a tantrum because they didn’t get what they want. These send mixed messages to your child. You need to stay consistent with the values that you want to instill in your children.

Introduce chores to your child

Hard work is an important part of learning to be grateful. Your children can start learning this value by taking part in chores. We tell our children all the time we all live in this house and we are all responsible for taking care of it. We don’t ask a lot out of our children just to take care of the things that they have and help clean up after themselves. There are chores that even young children can do and when they start learning to do these chores they learn the value of hard work and taking care of what they have.

Don’t give in to your child just because they want something

We’ve all been there, we go to the store our child sees a fancy new toy that you know they will only play with for a few minutes then toss aside. They beg and beg and beg for it. Sometimes it’s easy to want to give in. I love to lavish my children and give them what they want. But I know that if I give them every single thing they want then they’re not gonna learn to be grateful for the things that they do have. So don’t give in to your child every single time they want something. Your child does not need a piece of candy, a new toy, or a snack every single time they go to the grocery store with you.

Here’s a recent story from our own personal lives.

Our son has a difficult time learning to take care of the things that he has. We have been working hard on teaching him to take care of the things that he has been gifted. Recently a family member got him an airplane made out of wood.

Not even 24 hours after he was given this toy did he break it. He cried about this broken toy for a good 15 minutes. I had him come sit by me and explained to him that it’s OK to be sad but we cannot cry over things like this. He then demanded that he be given a new one by the gift giver.

I explained to him that no you cannot have a new airplane. This family member did not need to buy him a new airplane. It was his responsibility to take care of the things that he has been gifted and if he didn’t take care of these gifts it doesn’t automatically mean he is entitled to have a new one. This is an important concept to teach our children. This is difficult because children do not understand the concept of money and hardwork yet. But it’s important that our children know that they don’t just deserve something or get something else just because they want it.

Teach manners- please and thank you

Teaching manners is extremely important for our children. As I grow older I notice more and more that fewer people have manners as adults. Simply saying please and thank you goes a long way when you’re interacting with people. So start teaching your children young what manners are and which manners they need to have as they grow.

 
Talk about the less fortunate

Talk to your children about the less fortunate. It’s easy to want to shut our children from the realities of life but it’s equally important to teach our children that not everybody is as privileged as they are and not everybody has the things that they have.

For example, we adopted our son from Vietnam. He lived in an orphanage for the first four years of his life. We have talked to our children about other children who live in orphanages who are not privileged to have their birth families with them, the snacks and the treats they get all the time, the new clothes that they get, etc. These talks have really affected our oldest daughter and have helped her think outside of herself and think about what other people have versus what she has.

It has created a grateful heart in her. Yes, it’s hard to hear these things as children and even as adults but it’s important if you want to teach your children how to be grateful.

Serve the needy as a family

Step outside of your home and serve the needy as a family. Find a family who could use some help, or give to a charity or an orphanage, etc. This will help your child learn to think outside themselves and think about somebody who needs something even something as basic as clothes or food or shelter.

Why is being grateful important?  

It’s important to be grateful because it’s important to be appreciative of the people in our lives and the things that we have. It’s important to be grateful for the things we have in our lives because we work hard. And it’s important to know that not everyone is as privileged or as blessed as we are. When we are grateful we are able to think about other people, think outside of what we want, and think about what other people might need.

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• Connect With Your Child and Build Up Their Heart

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