The steps you take afterward can be detrimental- So, how do you recover after you’ve lost your cool with your kids?
You’re counting the minutes until bedtime with pasta water boiling over and your toddler holding onto your leg for dear life. You’ve used your calm voice and redirected countless times. Finally, you lost it.
You’ve reached the moment where you’re that mom who screams at her family. It’s not a proud moment; we have all been there, and as a mom, you’ll lose your cool.
Following the initial mom rage comes the everlasting feelings of guilt to take its place. It is natural to feel guilty after letting our emotions get the best of us, especially towards the ones we love!
Instead of dwelling on those nasty feelings of guilt, it’s best to move forward and think of what to do next.
Here is how to recover after you’ve lost your cool with your kids
1. Acknowledge Your Triggers
Triggers can vary widely from one mama to another, bringing intense emotions like frustration, anger, guilt, or even helplessness.
Common triggers can include tantrums, sleepless nights, and mealtime battles, or they could stem from things that have nothing to do with your child, such as financial strain, arguments with your spouse, etc.
Becoming triggered as an adult is your way of throwing a tantrum.
Recognizing and understanding your parenting triggers can help prevent them from becoming overwhelming.
By identifying these triggers and your reactions, you can develop healthy ways to respond thoughtfully and create a nurturing environment rather than reacting impulsively out of emotional turmoil.
You should reflect on the time somebody or something triggered you and write down the situations you were in and what you can do to prevent yourself from getting to the point of explosion!
Ask yourself what the root cause is for these emotional triggers. You may even notice that similar circumstances consistently trigger emotional distress.
2. Apologize
“I’m sorry; I love you and am here for you.”
Most of us feel uncomfortable apologizing to our children, but it is essential for building a healthy relationship between you and your child.
Whether losing your temper or misunderstanding a situation, apologizing demonstrates accountability and shows children that parents are not flawless and that it’s okay to admit when you are wrong.
When you apologize, you are teaching your children the importance of taking responsibility for their actions and their impact on others while showing them their feelings and the trust they have in you is essential.
Apologizing creates an environment where open communication and understanding are valued, helping your children build vital emotional intelligence.
Be specific about what you are apologizing for, and don’t degrade yourself by saying things such as “I’m sorry you have such a bad mom.”
Your child won’t understand what you’re apologizing for, and they will learn to degrade themselves because you do it.
Explain your trigger and why you reacted the way you did, and turn this into a learning moment by breaking down the situation and what you could do next time to improve.
3. Forgive Yourself
Bouncing back after an episode of mom rage can be challenging, but it is essential to understand that even the best of us slip up occasionally (or even daily.)
Parenting is hard, and moments of frustration or anger are a natural part of the process.
The most crucial step after taking accountability for your actions is to forgive yourself rather than hold onto the guilt.
Dwelling on these emotions can lead to mom guilt and self-criticism, deterring your ability to be the mother you aspire to be.
By forgiving yourself, you acknowledge your parenting imperfections and commitment to reacting better the next time you are triggered.
Remember that being a forgiving parent includes forgiving yourself – a practice that benefits you and your children.
This self-compassion allows you to learn from your mistakes and approach similar situations with more patience and understanding in the future.
If you are in this situation regularly, it is essential to identify the root cause of your feeling overwhelmed and work on strategies to prevent this.
Talk to your partner, a family member, or a trusted friend about the emotions and reactions you experience when parenting.
It can be helpful to seek advice and be open to new techniques to help you manage your stress healthily. If you don’t have any close friends, join local mom groups!
4. Self-Care
Sometimes all we need to prevent stress-related meltdowns is a little self-love. As a mom, filling your cup with activities that give you joy and satisfaction is essential.
Self-Care can be anything from taking a yoga class, walking in your neighborhood, and sitting down with a cup of coffee and a good book.
A simple morning routine can be what sets your day to be great!
Juggling the demands of parenting, household responsibilities, and often work commitments can leave little time to care for yourself.
However, prioritizing self-care is not selfish; it’s an essential investment in mental, emotional, and physical health.
Take the time to do it regularly. Not only will you have more energy and a better mental frame of mind, but it’ll show in your interactions with your family.
Making time to look after yourself is a gift you can give your family, as it will result in more positive behaviors and attitudes from you.
5. Value Your Children
Valuing your children goes beyond providing food and shelter; it involves actively engaging with them in their interests and providing guidance.
Loving your children is an easy way to recover after you’ve lost your cool with your kids.
You can show your children that you value them by showing them your love and support, spending quality time with them, and being respectful and kind.
Little things, such as asking about your will make a lasting impact and go a long way in helping your children feel appreciated.
When your children feel valued, they often have higher self-esteem, improved communication skills, increased self-confidence, and feel more connected to their families.
Ultimately, valuing your children strengthens your bond and is an investment in their futures.
Three steps to recover after you’ve lost your cool with your kid:
Acknowledge Triggers, Apologize to your child, and Forgive yourself.
You Can Do It!
Taking ownership of our mistakes is a crucial part of parenting; It is essential to acknowledge our emotions and reactions and apologize to our kids to make amends.
Hi, my name is Briona, and I’m a passionate mommy to two little boys.
I love coffee, plants, and cooking. I started blogging in February of 2022, just one year after being welcomed into motherhood.
I struggled a lot that first year as a new mom. I got so caught up in being a mom I forgot how to be me!
I learned healthy ways to cope with my feelings and new ways to prioritize self-care by being mindful and living with intent.
My goal is to share ways to become the happy, healthy mama we all deserve to be.