What You Need to Know Before Homeschooling

Homeschooling. Maybe that phrase ignites the image of a weird child wearing a full length dress, sewing in the rocking chair, while her brother chases chickens in the backyard.

Maybe you hear homeschool and think of the boy or girl you knew growing up. The one you called weird because well, they were homeschooled. Who does school at home?

Maybe you are a homeschool parent. Or maybe you are thinking hard and weighing your options, as you decide if homeschooling is for your family. Whatever brought you to this page I want you to know I am glad you are here.

I was blessed when we started our homeschooling journey because I had several friends who were willing to answer my questions and concerns.

My desire to homeschool our children actually started out as a far fetched dream.

I didn’t like the idea of sending my children off to public school. The thought left me feeling nauseous for many reasons (that is a whole different blog post.)

Even though I had several people I could talk to, when we started out on our homeschool journey, I felt like a fish out of water. I had no idea what I was doing. I felt like I was failing.

Turns out feeling that way is pretty normal. So if you find yourself feeling the same way, trust me, as the years continue you’ll gain more confidence in yourself.

Now that we are a few years into this journey, I have discovered several things that I wish I had only known when we started. Maybe this list will be helpful to you if you are just now starting out. Maybe it will help you not feel like I did a couple years ago. As I stared at my daughter’s open curriculum questioning every decision I have ever made. (even down to the donut I had that morning!) In over my head.

What I wish I knew before we started our homeschool journey

1. There are so many choices and curriculum out there.

I actually just got back from a home school convention today. I have two simple words to describe my experience.

1. Amazing.

2. Overwhelming.

If I felt overwhelmed, as a mom who knows exactly what works for my family, I can only imagine how overwhelming it would be for a newbie.

If you are starting out, I suggest forgoing the conventions. Maybe even resist googling every curriculum out there. At first.

The fact that there are so many choices for home school families is downright AMAZING. This was not the case many years ago. Take comfort knowing that if something doesn’t work for your family, there are other options out there. One WILL work. It just takes some time finding what exactly will work for your unique family.

It may not even be a curriculum.

One fact that so many families forget, (me included) curriculum is there to use as a guide. You can swap, switch, make your own. The possibilities are endless. Do not get bogged down and think you aren’t homeschooling correctly if you don’t use a certain curriculum to the T.

2. You need to find your child’s learning style.

This one is probably the most important lesson out there in my opinion. This is why I suggest forgoing finding a curriculum for now and instead focus on getting to know what your child’s learning style is. You can do this in many different ways. The best way would be to do several different “learning activities” with your child. Look to see which one makes your child light up. Which activity does your child retain information from. This will take time, or you may already know if you spend a lot of time with your child how they learn best.

It became clear to me pretty early on what Miss B’s learning style was. She’s a hands on learner to a T.

If you do not know your child’s learning style, there are many resources out there you can use in order to help you figure it out. My favorite is this online quiz created by Rebecca Spooner, an amazing homeschool mommy of 5.

3. You may switch curriculum.

This goes back to my first point. Do not feel like you HAVE to finish a certain curriculum. You may get it and hate it. Or you may get it and realize it doesn’t work for your child.

For Miss B’s kindergarten year we used a different curriculum. I LOVED this curriculum. Everything was right there for me, there were activities and manipulatives.

I planned on sticking with it.

Half way through the year I realized Miss B HATED the curriculum. She was not thriving on it in areas I knew she would, if she was learning a different way.

It’s okay to switch curriculum if it’s not working for your family or your child. Remind yourself of this as many times as you need!

4. You’re not trying to recreate the classroom.

Let me say this again. You are NOT trying to recreate the classroom. I’m not sure why but when I started out I felt this immense pressure. I’m sure I put it on myself. I thought I needed to recreate a classroom atmosphere.

Recreating the classroom environment is not at all what homeschooling is about.

When I realized that, no you do not need to recreate a classroom learning experience, I felt such a relieve and weight lift off of me.

Your reason for homeschooling may be completely different than mine, but I would bet on what is NOT your reason for homeschooling. Your not homeschooling your children so they can have the exact same learning experience they would have inside the walls of a classroom. You chose something different for your family.

Remember it.

Own it.

That brings me to my next lesson.

5. You need to write down your WHY.

Why are you homeschooling? Is it for religious reasons? Are you homeschooling because you are dissatisfied with the public school system? Do you want more control of what your child is learning? Do you homeschool because you worry about the bully problem growing rapidly in the public school system?

Whatever your reason for homeschooling write it down. That way when the hard days come, and they will, you can look at your paper and remember why you are setting out on this incredibly wonderful and incredibly difficult journey with your family.

6. You WILL have bad days.

Maybe you are shaking your head and saying nope not us. We have it all together. No bad days here. Stop yourself right now. Embrace it. You will have bad days as a homeschool family. There’s no getting around it.

Miss B and I have had bad days more times than I can count. The good days far outweigh the bad days, but that doesn’t make the bad days any easier.

When you are feeling frustrated and tired. When your coffee is getting cold, your toddler is screaming and your head is pounding, just stop.

Don’t do anything.

Take a break.

Go outside.

Pop in a movie, educational or noneducational (no one is judging! and if they are it’s none of their business anyway.)

Just step away.

Nothing is worth your mental health or your child’s. Embrace the bad days, so you don’t get bogged down in guilt.

I tell my kids the best thing about a new day is the sun comes up again and you can start over.

7. Your child may not “love” school, and that is okay.

Here’s the thing. When I started out homeschooling I heard all the amazing stories from mom’s whose children LOVE school. They get up at 5 am excited to do school work. They BEG for it everyday.

I went into homeschooling with the mindset that my kid will be that kid. And I was sorely mistaken.

After a while I figured out that probably 75% of those moms were embellishing just a little bit. And that my child does not like doing school, and that is okay.

It doesn’t matter what we are doing, we could be baking, doing a fun art project or going on a hike. If Miss B believes it has any connection to school, she’s not quite as excited about the activity as she would be otherwise.

That’s my child.

Your child may be one of those who wake up at 5 am begging for schoolwork. If they are great! But if they aren’t? If they want to drag their feet and ask twenty times in 5 minutes when they will be done, that is okay too. It doesn’t mean you are doing anything wrong. Remind yourself of this daily if you have to!

8. Some people won’t understand.

Let me say that again. Some people will not understand. I have been very blessed to have family members who support our decision to homeschool, even if they don’t necessarily agree.

Even though I have understanding family members that doesn’t mean I haven’t faced criticism. Very early on in our homeschool journey I shared a post that was dear to my heart on my Facebook, about why parents choose homeschool. A person I went to school with as a kid challenged my decision. Claiming the schools in our town were amazing and that no one was hurt going through the public school system here.

Maybe not. Or maybe there were plenty of children who were hurt going through the school system and she just didn’t realize it. Maybe she felt challenged in her decision. Whatever the case was I chose to ignore it.

Here’s the thing. My decisions and your decisions are no one’s business. Her decision to send her kids to public school is certainly not my business. That is what is best for her family. She knows what is best for them.

Just as I know what is best for my family.

If you are having people challenge your decision, do your best to take the high road. Let it fall off your back. Like my mamaw used to say, it’s no skin off my nose. If they refuse to let it go, gently remind them it’s none of their business and close the door for conversation about it.

9. You may not get everything done in one day.

When I started curriculum with Miss B, I thought it was essential that we completed every task that was listed. It took me far to long to realize that the curriculum is used more as a guide. I can choose to do an activity with Miss B or I can say forget it. (which I have done several times.)

And you know what?

Her education has not suffered one bit, and I’m a little bit more sane. 🙂

10. Homeschooling was the best decision my husband and I have made for our family.

This one doesn’t need an explanation. I didn’t know it at the time but when we sat down and figured out what we wanted for our family, deciding to homeschool was the best decision we made.

It could be the best decision you make too. If you want to homeschool but are afraid you won’t be able to, trust me, you absolutely can!

When you let go of the idea of a picture perfect homeschool, you will find that the picture your family creates in your own homeschool is ten times more beautiful.