Siblings argue or so they say.
If you have more than one child then you know that siblings argue, there will be sibling conflict. Some argue more than others. If you grew up with siblings you might know this to be true too.
The common thought in society is that siblings don’t get along. They argue and very rarely can they be close.
But is this really the correct order of things?
What is God’s design for siblings? For us to argue with each other constantly and not get along or be close as we grow up?
I personally don’t believe that’s what God intended for siblings. I believe God created siblings as lifelong friends who can be there for each other their whole lives.
Your sibling is the one person who knows you probably better than anybody else and has known you the longest. This is the same for your children and their siblings.
You can encourage a strong bond between your children starting when they are little.
Why is encouraging a strong bond between siblings important?
This isn’t true for everybody but in most families siblings can be the closest people to you.
I consider my sibling some of my best friends.
When we were little we argued some but as we grew we became closer and closer to each other. I desire the same for my children. I want them to grow up being close and knowing that they can count on each other when they need each other the most.
When I have been at my lowest it has been my siblings along with my husband and parents that have been there for me the most.
Life is hard. There are things that we face as we grow that can be easier to face when we’re surrounded by people who love us. When we face things surrounded by those who love us it makes it easier to get through. That is where having a sibling bond can really come in handy for your children.
Sibling arguments can annoy parents (they do me!)
Sometimes I just want to yell “can’t you just get along?” But the truth is sibling arguments can be a healthy way for your children to figure out how to manage their feelings, think about other people, and overcome disagreements in a safe environment with those people who will always love them: Their siblings.
How to handle sibling arguments peacefully.
You can handle sibling arguments peacefully even if it seems like you are drowning in arguments daily. It takes intention and time but it is possible.
Try letting your children work it out first.
The first thing you can do is see if they will work their problem out themselves first. The more opportunity you allow your children to work out disagreements first without stepping in the more they will learn how to navigate these disagreements with their siblings alone themselves.
No, they will not always be able to work it out first especially if they are used to you constantly stepping in. But when we have our children work out disagreements first they become able to manage their feelings and navigate disagreements with their siblings which will allow them to learn how to navigate disagreements with other people without the guidance of an adult.
Teach empathy in your children.
Empathy is huge. It’s an important trait that we can teach our children as they grow. Talk to your child often about what empathy is, how they can put themselves in someone else’s shoes, or even see someone else’s point of you even if they don’t understand it.
For example instead of just telling your child to share their toy ask them if they think their sibling will like a turn with a toy? This helps your child think about their sibling’s feelings instead of automatically just being told to share something when they don’t want to.
Avoid asking your child to share their toys – instead, put them in their sibling’s shoes.
It can be a common habit to simply say “share your toy.” But when we step outside of this box and teach our child how to empathize with their siblings then they learn how to empathize with others outside our family as well.
Teach them how to put themselves in their sibling’s shoes.
You can say something like “your brother really likes to watch you play with blocks, I wonder what kind of building he would like to build with you?” This helps your child stop thinking about themselves and start thinking outwardly about other people. It can be simple with baby steps eventually they will learn to notice other people’s feelings instead of just their own.
Give individual time to each child.
Sometimes children need their emotional buckets filled. Try to set aside time to spend individually with each child. I know that this is difficult especially if you have a big family. But it could be something as simple as spending 15 minutes alone each night reading a book to each child. Or taking them out every week for ice cream alone. Children need individual parent time this helps thwart jealousy of teir siblings if they feel like their sibling is getting more time than them.
Pay attention to see if sibling jealousy is arising.
Look for cues to see if sibling jealousy is rising. It can feel natural to be jealous of somebody especially if they have something that you want. If your child is feeling jealous of their sibling try spending more individual time with them and talking to them about why they are jealous.
Talk to your children often about how having a sibling can be a blessed thing as they grow.
Remind your child about why having a sibling is a blessing, not a burden. When we view the people in our life as blessings it becomes easier to get along with them.
It is important to talk to your children about how their siblings are not just like them, they will be different and that is okay and that is a blessing. God has made each of them differently with different thoughts, ideas, and talents. You can get along with someone even if they are not exactly like you. You can appreciate their individual talents and ideas and thoughts.
Related: 14 Best Tips To Overcome Angry Mommy Today
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- Why Consistent Parenting Matters
- 12 Habits of Immensely Peaceful Moms
- 63 Mom Hacks That Are Pure Genius
- Connect With Your Child and Build Up Their Heart
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Hi there, I’m Jenna! I am a devoted mommy and wife. As well as an advocate for children and creating a peaceful atmosphere for those we love. I co-wrote Faith Actually: Living Life After Tragedy with my husband. I have my Bachelor’s Degree in Biblical Studies and currently working toward my Master’s in Positive Psychology. My number one desire is to create a peaceful home life for my family. My second desire is to share with you the tips I learn along the way!