11 Ways to Encourage Independent Play

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What is independent play? 

Independent play is the ability for your child to play by themselves without you entertaining them.

Have you ever tried to get something done with a toddler? Who just can’t seem to play by themselves? When a child lacks independent play skills it can become difficult to get things done or have a moment to yourself. This can be draining as a mom.

Why is independent play important for children? 

Independent play is important for children because it encourages creativity and self-reliance. Having these skills helps them learn how to entertain themselves and not feel the need to be entertained all the time by someone else.

I have worked with children almost my entire life.

One thing that I have tried to stay consistent with when it comes to my own children is I don’t entertain them. Yes I play with them, and I sit alongside them as they play, but I don’t spend my entire day making sure they are entertained and having fun. I allow them to have downtime often so that they can learn how to play independently.

I have so many people tell me that my children play so well by themselves and so well with each other. My response is always “that’s because I don’t entertain them.”

11 Ways to Encourage Independent Play

Encourage Your Child’s Imagination

Each child is born with an imagination. Some children’s imaginations are more active and creative than others. But if you encourage a child to grow their imagination they well.

You can help encourage your child’s imagination by offering open-ended toys that do not have an end goal. Give them blank paper instead of coloring books so they can use their imagination to create whatever is in their mind.

You can also ask them to create a game and play along with them even if it’s not a type of game that you would want to play. This encourages your child to get their creative juices flowing. Do you need more ideas for imagination starters? Here are some great ones that we use.

Don’t Take Over Their Playtime

It could be tempting to take over your child’s playtime. To show them how to play with a certain toy or tell them what they need to do when they’re playing.

Fight the urge to take over your child’s playtime, just be an observer or an assistant if you may. Let your child be the director, let your child be the one who decides how playtime will go.

Separate Screens and Their Play Area If You Can

If you can, separate your child’s screens and their play area. Try to have a place that has no screens where they can go to and play and use their imagination.

Screens are often very tempting for young children. But playing on their Kindle or the TV for hours on end offers no room for creativity and imagination to form. They say when you don’t exercise a muscle then it doesn’t grow. I believe the same goes for your creativity and imagination. If you want your child’s imagination to grow then they have to exercise their imagination muscle daily.

“Play” Parallel to Each Other

This goes back to when I said I don’t entertain my kids. This doesn’t mean I just left them to their own devices. Often times I would sit next to my child as they play and just watch them. They felt comfortable because I was sitting next to them, especially as a toddler, and I was able to get things done that I needed to do like fold laundry or do some work on my business.

As my children aged they became more comfortable just playing on their own without me sitting parallel to them.

Provide Open-Ended Toys 

So many toys on the market these days have an end goal in mind. Or they are simply for entertaining purposes. Yes, they’re fun, bright, colorful and loud but if you notice most children grow bored of these toys quickly.

Why is this? This is because they offer no room for growing their imagination. Your child meets the end goal then the game is done, the toys over, there’s no point in using it anymore. Instead, try to offer open-ended toys that your child can flex they are creative muscles with. These may include Lincoln logs, blocks, Legos, sheets of paper and crayons, magnets, etc.

There are so many options on the market for open-ended toys. 

Limit The Number of Toys That are Offered to Your Child

Have you ever created a playroom for your child and put a ton of toys in there simply for them to not play with anything? This is because when a child has too many options they feel overwhelmed with their toys. They don’t want to play with anything because they don’t know what to play with.

You can help your child feel more comfortable during playtime by limiting the options of toys they have available. This doesn’t mean you need to get rid of all their toys. You could create a rotation where you put some of their toys away for a couple months and then when you see that they are getting bored then switch the toys out.

Don’t Interrupt Playtime if it Happens Naturally 

If your child is playing naturally by themselves fight the urge to interrupt. Especially if there’s no real reason or rush to interrupt them. 

For example, we homeschool. I like to get our homeschool done in the morning because I like to have my afternoons free. But there have been times where my children will be playing very nicely together or even by themselves and this can last for an hour or two. It’s very tempting for me to just interrupt them and say let’s get school done. But this interrupts their creative skills that they are developing at that moment. So instead I try to find other things on my to-do list and be patient and let them play independently until they are done. 

Create a Safe Room Where Your Child Can Play Alone 

Create a space where your child can play independently without you having to supervise. This can be the living room off to the side while you’re cooking dinner. You can keep an eye on your toddler especially if they’re young. As they grow older they would have the ability to play independently in a separate room safely without you having to hover. This comes especially in handy when you are trying to cook dinner or get chores done and you just need your child to play independently.

Offer Choices 

Offer your child choices. Instead of handing them electronics while you are trying to get work done say something along the lines of “you can play with Play-Doh or you can color a picture. Mommy needs 15 minutes for you to play independently which one would you like to do?” You can set up an area at the table especially if your child is younger and let them play while you are doing what you need to do.

Offering choices will make it easier for your child to choose what they want to play with. It also lets him know that mommy needs to get this done but in 15 to 20 minutes I can play with you again.

Fight the Urge to “Entertain” Your Child

It can be very tempting to entertain your child 24/7 especially if they are a baby or toddler. But try to fight the urge to constantly entertain your child. 

When you fight this urge then your child will learn how to entertain themselves, self-reliance, and how to use their own imagination. 

Set Boundaries 

Make sure your child knows that there are certain times of the day where you have to do things. For example, if you really need to do the dishes and get that checked off your list then set boundaries for your child. Let them know mommy needs 10 minutes to unload the dishwasher right now you need to be going and playing by yourself. If they don’t like it at first then just try to continuously set boundaries. Eventually, they will get the point.

Benefits of Independent Play 

• Encourages creativity
• Teaches self-reliance 
• Improves child’s focus 
• Let’s mom have “me time” 
• Self-confidence growth 
• Provides quiet time for family 
• Social independence 
• Improves thinking skills 
• Increases ability for empathy 
• Helps your child explore passions and interests 

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Be sure to read my top posts on parenting:

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