From Stressful to Serene: How to Transition Your Parenting Style 

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Parenting can be both joyful and stressful. This blog post on how to transition your parenting style will guide you in transforming your parenting style from stress to peace. Ideas include:

• Understanding the importance of self-care.
• Proactively creating family rituals.
• Developing methods for teaching children self-regulation techniques.

From Stressful to Serene: How to Transition Your Parenting Style 

Are you feeling overwhelmed by the stresses and pressures of being a mom? Do you often find yourself struggling to keep your cool in difficult situations? Moving away from a more stressful parenting approach to a peaceful and calm one can be tricky, but it can be done. So, let’s talk about how you can become a more peaceful mom today and move away from being stressed out mommy. 

Identifying Triggers – Understanding What Makes You Anxious or Overwhelmed 

As moms, it’s easy to give of ourselves repeatedly but lose ourselves in the process. We spend so much time and effort on our children and homes we forget to pay attention to what triggers us. However, starting with triggers is important when you take steps to transition your parenting style.

What makes you anxious and overwhelmed? Is it having too much on your plate? Do you become overwhelmed and anxious when your house is a mess? How about when you procrastinate and feel like you do not have enough time?

Taking steps to be in tune with your triggers is paramount to becoming a calmer mom. There are many ways to do this. Some great ways are: 

• Keep a triggers journal- every time you feel aggravated or annoyed, write it down. It may seem small, but when we see patterns written out before us, we can see connections to how we truly feel and why.
• Talk to someone you trust about your feelings. They can help you identify patterns you may otherwise miss. This can be family, a trusted friend, or even a counselor. 
• Practice the parenting pause. When you start to feel stressed and overwhelmed, take a moment by yourself. Don’t react. Just be. Count to ten or practice breathing. When you practice this technique, you will be able to bring to attention the emotions you are feeling and what the source of anxiety may be. 

When you step back as a mom and practice recognizing what is triggering you, you can move from being a stressed-out mom to a calm mom. 

Communication is Key – Learning to Communicate With Your Children Effectively. 

Communication is very important when it comes to everyone, but especially our children. It can be easy as moms to believe our children should know what is expected. 

However, children are still learning about their world and the life around them daily. Putting expectations on our children without effectively communicating with them is a recipe for disaster.

First, you can assess your child’s ability to understand. Every child is different. Some factors that you will need to consider are:

• Their age
• Their mental capacity to understand 
• Any struggles they may have

After you have assessed your child’s ability to understand, you can form an effective strategy to communicate clearly with them.

 Some children can understand immediately; others need you to work with them to increase their capabilities. Some children are relaxed and easygoing, and others see boundaries as a challenge that must be taken. 

Each child is unique in their personality, and no personality is the wrong way to be. However, children who feel confident in themselves and are loved for who they are will be easier to communicate with. 

Here are some simple ways to increase communication with your child: 

• First, understand their triggers—a two-year-old child who still naps will be triggered by being over-tired. A child with sensory processing disorder cannot handle specific triggers, whether it’s noise, the feel of texture, or something else. When you understand your child’s triggers, you can figure out a game plan for every day. 
• Explain your expectations to your child clearly and often. Every child is different, some times you will need to explain the expectations to your child once, and they understand right away. Other times you will have to explain over and over. My general rule to live by is to describe the expectations to your child once every time you believe they will understand and then three more times for good measure. 

It’s important to remember that it’s okay if a child needs you to communicate more with them. It’s just how their brain processes information. It can be tiring, but the benefit of clear communication with your child will pay off in the long run. 

How do you know if you are communicating clearly with your child?

First, practice active listening. Is your mind wondering when your child talks to you? Or are you paying attention to what they are saying, and are you engaged in the conversation? When a child feels like you are hearing what they are saying, they will be more apt to share and listen in return. 

Listen clearly and reflectively to your child as well. Are you truly understanding what they are saying to you, or do you want to jump to conclusions or for them to listen to you but not the other way around? 

Talk about emotions. Emotions can be overwhelming to adults. So it is no surprise they are overwhelming to children. One thing I try hard to do with my children is to validate their feelings. Even if I do not understand or necessarily agree with them, do not dismiss their feelings as trivial. Children need to know that feelings are a part of life, and although they come and go often, we do not have to let them control us. We can still understand why we are feeling the way we do. 

You can use “I notice” statements to continue the conversation when discussing feelings with your child. For example, if my daughter struggles with schoolwork and is on the verge of a meltdown, I can say, “I notice you are feeling very strongly about your math homework. Can you tell me what about it you do not understand?” This opens up the lines of communication, and she feels heard, understood, and as though she’s not wrong for having strong feelings. 

Recognizing Your Emotional Journey – Understanding the path and timeline of transitioning 

No parent is perfect- it takes time to transition your parenting style and to go from being stressed to becoming the calm mom you want to be. Remember, you will have off days. Sometimes you feel triggered, but you do not have to let your emotions control you. 

You do not have to succumb to a stressful situation and take it out on your family. Instead, learn to take a break when you are feeling off. Small steps are essential. It’s easy to want to change right away and be upset when we have struggles, but the small steps forward each day are the steps that build up confidence and progress.

 While you are on your journey to becoming a calmer mom practicing self-regulating techniques are excellent tools that will help both moms and kids! 

Practicing Productive Solutions – Finding Ways to Manage Difficult Situations in a Peaceful Manner 

When you have a plan, it can be easier to manage difficult days. Here are simple steps to manage your day with your child and be proactive when becoming a calmer mom. 

Create a Family Routine

Routines are different than schedules. It’s the natural flow of your family life. When your child has a family routine, their days will be smoother and more enjoyable. 

Most people, children included, thrive when they know what to expect throughout their day. If you have small toddlers, this strategy is beneficial. For example, when your child knows that after breakfast comes playtime, playtime is lunch, and lunch is nap, you will get less pushback during transitions. 

However, it can take a while to establish a family routine, and not all routines are a one size fits all. Here is a great guide to help you create a family routine that works for your family. 

Pay Attention to Your Child’s Triggers

What triggers your child? Do they become cranky when they are hungry? If they miss nap time, do they become emotional?

 Lean into your child’s cues and figure out their triggers. When you do this, you can better prepare for situations like having a snack on hand in case they are hungry, not scheduling an outing during naptime, etc. 

Of course, life happens, and children need to learn to be adaptable, but we can do what we can as parents to help them learn adaptability without feeling chaotic. 

Practice the Parenting Pause

Moms have triggers too. It can be challenging for us not to react immediately when triggered. If adults have a hard time not reacting when triggered, why do we expect children to be able to control their emotions? 

Our children learn from us. We can start showing our children how to take control of their feelings by practicing the parenting pause ourselves. When we begin to feel triggered, we as moms need to stop, take a deep breath, and get away to process the situation. 

We must do it if we need to go into a different room, step away a few steps, or even close our eyes and take ten (or 20!) deep breaths. This will help you regain control of your emotions, and in the process, our children will learn that emotions do not have to control us. We can control them. 

What’s Your Mantra?

Do you have a parenting mantra? A mantra can help you focus on what is important to you as a mom. What are your goals? What is your vision for your family? Here are some great parenting mantras to try today! 

Say Goodbye to Other People’s Opinions

Sometimes as moms, it can be easy to give in to other people’s opinions. We let comparisons and myths about parenting control how we want to parent our children.

 Let go of the opinions of other people. When you do this, you can open the path to moving forward toward a more peaceful life for yourself and your family. 

Strategies for Self-Care – Keeping Your Stress Levels Low and Your Mood High

Sometimes as moms, it’s easy to think you must sacrifice your self-care to be a good mom. But, yes, caring for little children takes significant sacrifice and changes your life.

However, you need not sacrifice self-care to be a good mom. Self-care is essential to becoming the best mom you can be. Here are some great self-care strategies for moms needing help not feeling selfish for caring for themselves.  

You Can Become the Peaceful Mom You Want to Be 

Parenting can be an incredibly fulfilling experience, but it can quickly become overwhelming. 

By understanding and recognizing potential triggers, communicating effectively, recognizing your emotional journey, practicing productive solutions, and committing to self-care, you can transition your parenting style from stressful to peaceful. 

Share how you plan to transition your parenting style from stressful to serene. Share your tips and stories in the comments section below. 

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