Having Peace In Your Marriage
Yesterday I touched on having peace within ourselves. We can not begin to create peace in our lives until we develop it within ourselves. Yesterday I gave some tips on becoming a peaceful person. Later this week I will touch on the topic in more depth. You can also go back and read my post on what God says about peace. Today I want to talk about having peace inside your marriage.
After God, our spouse is the most important relationship we have. If we do not protect it diligently, as well as build our marriage up, trying to cultivate a sense of peace in it, then it will become brittle. Easy to break.
The day Ben and I got married it rained.
Everyone was freaking out about their hair getting ruined. Including me. Then my hairdresser told me rain actually signifies good luck on your wedding day. It used to be in some Indian tribes they would tie a knot when someone was getting married, to signify two people coming together. I don’t know for sure, but I assume that is where “tying the knot” came from.
When it rained, it was considered good luck because the rain would make the knot tighter, stronger, and not as easy to untie.
The significance of this old practice was not lost on me, because only a year and a half into our marriage, our son died shortly after he was born.
Here came the rain. Ben and I went through a torrential downpour. The worst rain in our marriage thus far. If this rain did anything, it made the knot of our marriage that much stronger and tighter. Binding us together in ways many think impossible.
I can not sit here and tell you during and after our storm our marriage was full of peace though.
No, we both grieved differently and need so much grace during that time. There were arguments and pain. Sometimes there still is, like in most marriages. However, the peace in our marriage came after we both practiced doing certain things to cultivate it.
Here are 6 ways we keep the peace in our marriage.
1. First we both made up our minds that our marriage and our relationship would never be on the chopping block. No matter what we faced, we would get through it together.
2. We are 100% honest with each other. There are no secrets in our marriage. We both have trust in one another and know that no matter what, the other one will be 100% honest. In order to keep that trust we have to make it a priority to protect it.
3. We keep an open line of communication with one another. Yes we have disagreements but we always talk those disagreements out. No we may not always see eye to eye on a topic, but we both try our best to at least make an effort.
4. We support each other no matter what. Ben doesn’t squash my dreams and I don’t squash his. If there is a desire in either one of our hearts and it lines up with the word of God, we both say go for it, I’ll support you 100%.
5. We protect our marriage from outside influences. Marriages fail and have issues that cause turmoil because one or both spouses fail to protect themselves from outside influences. What does that mean? It means we do not allow anything or anyone come into our lives that have the potential to destroy what we have built. Maybe it seems enticing, maybe it is difficult to unblur the lines, but things like porn, relationships with other people of the opposite sex, keeping secrets, and things along those lines have no business inside your mind, heart, or marriage. If they are there you are opening up the door for man made rain. There is no way to have peace when you have opened the door to turmoil.
6. We always respect each other. In public as well as private. Never degrade your spouse. Never talk bad about them to other people or air your private business to people who have no business knowing. Talk to your spouse in a way you would like them to talk to you. Even when you’re mad at each other.
These are just a few ways my husband and I protect the peace in our marriage.
To recap
1. Make up your mind your marriage is never on the chopping block.
2. Always be honest with one another.
3. Keep lines of communication open
4. Support each other always.
5. Protect your marriage from outside influences.
6. Respect one another always.
I hope you have found these tips helpful!
Until next time xoxo
Jenna Jury
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