Small Stuff: Why Do We Sweat The Details?

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Do you go through life as a mom sweating the small stuff? Worrying about every little detail?

This post is one of a 13 part series: Incredibly Peaceful Moms. If you haven’t read this series yet and you want to go back to the beginning start with:

12 Habits of Incredibly Peaceful Moms. This will give you an overview of the topics that are covered during this post.

Below are the rest of the series posts:

Why Sibling Disagreements are Good For Your Kids

How to Give Your Child Back Their Free Time

Turn Off the Screens for Peace’s Sake

1 Secret to Go From Angry Mommy to Calm Mommy

Don’t Over schedule Your Family

Are you looking for ways to become a peaceful mom but you aren’t sure how?

I created a free planner for moms like me, who want to create a peaceful home but let the stress of never having it all together defeat them, because who really ever has it together? The best we can do is plan for peace and roll with the punches, right? If you want your free planner you can get it below!

Do you ever find yourself sweating the small stuff as a mother?

I don’t know about you, but as a mother my plate is jammed packed. Moms worry about many details that fill our day. Is the house clean? Is the laundry put away? What about those dishes sitting for hours in the sink? Not to mention our child’s education. Are they learning enough? Can we help them the way we need to? What about our husbands? If we’re not careful, we can start to worry about the smallest details.

• My kid isn’t wearing matching clothes.
• I didn’t make the healthiest dinners 7 days out of this week.
• This blanket is folded all wrong.
• That mom just snubbed me, was it something I did? Was it something my kid did?

We have so many worries that can crowd our heads, if we let them.

One time, many moons ago, when Miss B was 2, she decided she was no longer going to let mommy pick out her clothes. She wanted to dress herself, her own way. Now that she is 7 she is pretty great at picking out clothing that match. But when she was 2? She was terrible at it. I decided to let her express her creativity anyway. Plus I had way more to worry about than what she was wearing, I was pregnant with Miss S and the bathroom is where I spent most of my time.

One morning Miss B and I went on a shopping trip with my mom. She decided she wanted to wear leopard print dress shoes, stripped pants and a polka dotted shirt. She did not match one bit. I took one look at her and weighed my options. I could fight her on it or I could just let it be. Do you know which one I chose? I chose to let it be.

It was the right choice.

Because I had better things to do and she has now found her creative expression as a 7 year old child. She is confident in who she is. But while we were shopping, we crossed paths with a young woman who didn’t see things my way. She decided to not so quietly comment on the fact that my two year old was not matching. While simultaneously praising her future self for how great of a mother she was going to be to her hypothetical children. “When I have children they are always going to match.” She said to the lady next to her.

It was obvious she wasn’t a mom yet even without her saying “when I have…” because most moms know never to say never.

Listen, I could’ve sweated the insignificant encounter with someone who didn’t matter one bit in my life, I could have let it worry me and question my parenting. but I didn’t. Because I know myself as a mom, I know my daughter and I’m confident in my parenting. I don’t sweat the small stuff.

And neither should you.

read: why I let my child dress her.

What are some reasons we sweat the small stuff?

Perfection

Most moms strive to be the perfect parent. Like the moms they portray on the television screen. Here’s the honest truth, you will never be the perfect mom. But you can be the mom your child needs. One who makes mistakes but asks for forgiveness. The mom who learns right along with your child.

Reflection on our parenting

We get the idea in our heads, if we are not perfect, if our child has a tantrum, if our house is not immaculate, then it’s a reflection on our parenting. But everyone has hard days. Your child will throw a fit. Your house will never be clean all the time (unless of course you have a housekeeper, and in that case please send me her number. ) Remember, your parenting is made up of so much more than you are seeing in one moment in time.

We worry about the judgement of others

It’s no secret. Everyone has an opinion. Even when they have no business having one. The loudest voices are typically the most judgmental ones. We want everyone to see us as a perfect parent because we don’t want our parenting judged.

Worrying about the opinions of others will become a huge stumbling block in your life if you allow it to. No one knows your parenting like you do. No one knows your children like you do. If your child is safe and cared for, then the decisions you make for your family are just that, your decisions. We need to become okay with not everyone agreeing with us and moving on.

Here’s why we shouldn’t sweat the small stuff

You have more important areas you need to focus on

If you spend your entire day worrying about the small details, you will have no energy or time left for the really important areas. Who cares if your house is a mess if your child needs to be working on respect. It doesn’t matter if your child is the smartest child in his class, if he is bullying another child. Our child’s character, and our own, is far more important than the small details that make up our day.

Your child in an individual

Your child will not think exactly like you do. They have their own thoughts, ideas, dreams, etc. If you focus on details that don’t truly matter, such as whether they match or not, you will be missing the big picture. Their individuality and creativity.

No one is perfect

This includes you and your children.

Tips for overlooking the small details

Pick your battles

I know you have heard this one before. It’s relevant. You do not have to pick up the sword for every single battle.

Decide what matters to you and what can be overlooked

Sit down with your spouse and decide what is most important when it comes to raising your children. What habits are important to teach your child? Respect, obedience, cleaning up after themselves, etc. What quirks can you overlook? Can you get past them wearing their hair a way you don’t like? Can you get on board with them wearing stripes and dots together? Figure out what is important to your family and what doesn’t matter all that much.

Remember, the more you focus on small details the less energy you will have for the important areas.

Why overlooking the small details matter

Remember, you are raising an individual, whole child. One with their own mind, heart, and creativity. If you want peace in your home, you have to start with what is truly important, character shaping, not perfection.

Read: 12 habits of immensely peaceful moms.

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