How to Make Bedtime Easier

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Do you struggle with bedtime?

Hey there Momma, are you sitting there looking for answers to your bedtime woes? Is the constant struggle getting you down?

I’ve been where you are. When bedtime is a struggle, I feel like I’m going to lose it. But don’t you worry. There are a few simple steps you can take to ensure the bedtime fight with your kid is minimal. (the majority of the time! Because let’s face it, they are still kids right?)

Before you get started reading my tips on how to make bedtime easier, I highly recommend you read why consistent parenting matters first. Don’t worry I’ll wait right here 🙂

Okay, did you read it? Welcome back. The previous post is important because if you’re not consistent with your parenting, all your effort will be mute, void, there will be no point to it. And also it’s my first step 🙂

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Before we get to the steps, you need to make yourself a promise.

Be open and honest with yourself about where you are in your bedtime routine with your kids. I can’t stress this enough. Sometimes we lie to ourselves as mommies. “Oh it’s really not that bad.” “It’s my kid, not me.” “I’m doing everything I can.” etc. etc. etc. I know because I’ve been there.

But if we take a step back, sometimes we can realize there are certain steps as the parent that we can take to ensure our child’s bedtime goes better. Sometimes it’s not really our children, it’s us.

Okay did you promise yourself? Great 🙂

I also want to take a moment and say I am not a doctor, nor do I don’t have a degree title to my name, (unless you count a B.S. in Biblical Studies 🙂 ) So, these tips are my opinion (though some are proven to work by “experts.”) These are merely tips from a mom who has been there. You can take it or leave it, but I hope you find something that will help you.

Step One: Be Consistent

See I told you it was the first step :). So if you didn’t read the post yet, you can find it here and at the end of this post. (It’s that important!)

You have to be consistent with your rules and actions when it comes to your children, otherwise you will find very little progress happening when you put in the effort. I will give you an example from my own life.

All of my children thrive on a routine, a consistent routine. My girls can handle our routine changing a bit. If they accidentally come downstairs in their pajamas and eat breakfast first, no biggie right? They will remember the next day, oh we get dressed first and then come eat our breakfast.

My son on the other hand has different needs. He needs the consistent routine to be exactly the same, otherwise he will push the boundaries. If I let him come downstairs without getting dressed first, he will believe it can be this way all the time, then it leads to putting off breakfast, not brushing his teeth without a fight, staying in his pajamas all day. He needs consistency a little more than the other two. Otherwise we will have to start all over again, and I don’t know about you, but I don’t like starting over with my parenting efforts. I like to have easy days.

Now, you may not have a child who pushes the boundaries quite as much, however, every child does better when a healthy routine is in place.

Consistency also needs to be present when it comes to discipline.

If you tell your child, no you cannot play on my I-Pad ever, but then turn around and allow your child to play on it 15 minutes later after they pitch a fit, you are only shooting yourself in the foot, so to speak and hurting your parenting efforts.

Because this is what your child sees: Mommy or daddy said no now, but she (or he) can be persuaded otherwise. I can change their mind with a little bit of whining or yelling. They aren’t consistent and in charge. Someone needs to be in charge around here and it’s going to be me.

This may seem crazy to you, but it’s true. If you do not have consistency then you will take one step forward and two steps back.

Consistency needs to be apparent in your bedtime routine. If your child knows they can push you to get what they want, then they will. No child wants to go to bed. My children don’t ever want to go to bed. But they know it’s non-negotiable. They don’t have a choice, bedtime means bedtime.

Get on board with being consistent, even if it’s a fight.

When you say no, say no with conviction and firmly.

Step two: Create a solid bedtime routine

Routines can be monotonous. But if you have a solid routine in place, then your children will know what to expect. We thrive on routines at my house. The children know what happens and when it happens, no negotiating with mommy. It’s when your children know what to expect there will be less fighting you.

We have a visual routine chart, it works wonders for us. The kids can see in pictures what is expected, and if something changes for the day, I can switch out the cards.

This is where I found the one we use, From Natural Beach Living. I ordered a pocket chart from Amazon to stick the laminated cards in. It now hangs on our kitchen wall, eye level for the kiddos to see every day.

Below is our nighttime/bedtime routine. Feel free to use it or tweak it with what works for you.

• Eat Dinner – this is typically around 6:00. Sometimes a little before, sometimes a little after.
• After dinner the kids have roughly 40-60 minutes to play or watch a television show while mommy and daddy clean up and then it’s play time with mommy and daddy.
• If it’s bath night, one child takes a shower before dinner. The other two take turns after dinner.
• After baths the kids brush their teeth.
• We read a book or two all together as a family, do devotions and pray before we tuck in.
• Daddy and I take turns tucking in each child and singing our songs.
• Lights out and it’s night night time.

Sometimes our children come to the steps and ask us a question or ask for a drink, etc. We have a cup in the bathroom if they get thirsty, so they can get themselves a drink of water. Otherwise we tell them they can ask us questions in the morning.

If you are still struggling with keeping your child in bed here are a few helpful tips:

• Make sure everyone goes potty before tucking in and don’t allow a ton of liquids before bed.
• If your child does need a drink in the middle of the night, place paper or plastic cups in the bathroom for them. These paper cups are perfect for those times!
• Be firm and consistent with bedtime. When your child knows they can’t push the rules, they won’t try as often.
• Wear your child out before bedtime. I know it’s hard during the winter, but find a fun game they love to do inside, like hide and seek and play with them! If it’s warm enough to go outside, take them out and let them burn energy.
• Sometimes it’s difficult for children to fall asleep if they are wound up (isn’t it for all of us?) Wearing off their energy is a great way to help them be prepared to wind down for bed.

Step three: Set a bedtime and stick with it

My children go to bed relatively early because they are early risers, always on the go and do not nap anymore. Even when they napped, they always went to bed between 7-8. I do understand early bedtime doesn’t work for every family.

Figure out your child’s sleep patterns, what works for your family in terms of a good bedtime and then set a consistent bedtime(see there’s that word again 🙂 ) Maybe you don’t stick with the bedtime 100% of the time. We don’t. but 95% of the time strive to stick with the time you set.

If your child is struggling with staying in bed, buy an Okay to Wake clock.

I bought this clock when Miss B was around 3 years old and it become a sanity saver. Basically what it is, is a clock that will light up green when it’s okay to come out of bed.

No more coming out to ask you a million questions after they get tucked in.

I do tell my children that when it’s bedtime they are not allowed out of bed except for the following reasons:

• They have to potty.
• They have a bad dream.
• Or they are sick.
• If there is an emergency.

This seems to satisfy their need to get out of bed and we never have issues. Again this all comes down to consistency. We have been doing this routine for years.

Are you being consistent with what you tell your kids about bedtime? If you say it’s bedtime right now, don’t get out of bed, do you allow them out of bed 20 times afterwards?

The okay to wake clock really helped my kids realize when it’s appropriate to get out of bed and hold a conversation with mommy. (7 am versus 2 am.)

If you are still struggling, Nanny Jo from Super Nanny has a good technique. I’ll place the link here, but just in case you want the short version:

• Tuck your children in and say goodnight.
• The first time your child comes out of their room or get out of bed say “It’s bedtime, darling (or their name.)” Take their hand and guide them back to bed, hug and cuddle.
• If your child comes out a second time say “It’s bedtime” a little firmer. Take their hand and guide them back to bed, hug and cuddle.
• The third time and all the times after (if your child is particularly stubborn.) Have no verbal communication with them whatsoever, simply take their hand and guide them back into their beds. No more cuddles or communication.
• Do this as many times as it takes. Yes, your child will probably be upset the first couple of times, but eventually they will realize it’s bedtime and it’s non-negotiable.

Step Four: Remember tomorrow is a new day.

Okay, I know this isn’t like a real step, but it’s such an important step, I needed to add it in.

If you have a horrible night with your child, don’t throw in the towel. If your child pushes you (and they will if they aren’t used to a solid bed time routine) don’t let it discourage you. Remember, tomorrow is a new day. You can try again. You SHOULD keep trying until your child starts realizing that mommy and daddy are serious about bedtime.

Don’t allow one bad night (or several) to deter you from your main goal, getting your child on a good, solid bedtime routine.

A smooth, solid bedtime is just as much for you as it is for your children.

Think of bedtime as a nutrient essential to the health of your family. At the end of the day, everyone is tired and ready for downtime. Your child may not realize that they need sleep, they may not even care that they do, but you are their parent.

Bedtime is not a time for you to be their friend, it’s a time for you to make sure they are getting what they need, and you are getting what you need.

When my children are upset about something; going to bed, eating a healthy food, I tell them this:

It is mommy and daddy’s job to make sure your body gets enough rest so you can have enough energy for tomorrow and you stay healthy.

It’s mommy and daddy’s job to make sure you eat healthy food so your body gets enough nutrients to grow big and strong.

You need your children to have a healthy bedtime routine, so you can unwind and you can have alone time with your spouse.

Chances are you are tired, you worked all day and now you and your spouse want some alone time.

If anything, set this routine in motion so you get what you need as a mommy. Rest and restoration.

It will not be easy, but by golly the end result will be worth it!

My top posts on parenting:

• Why Consistent Parenting Matters
• 12 Habits of Immensely Peaceful Moms
• 63 Mom Hacks That are Pure Genius

Are you looking for ways to become a peaceful mom but you aren’t sure how?

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