How to Break Up With Cranky Mom (Updated)

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It’s become obvious. It’s time you committed to breaking up with her.

She drags you down, she affects your relationship with your spouse, your kids don’t like her, and she makes many people miserable. Her name is cranky mom.

She keeps you hanging on like a friend with benefits, but without any of the benefits. It’s time you broke up with cranky mom.

But how can you break up with her? She doesn’t seem to get the hint. She lingers around like an ex who just won’t give up.

Cutting the cord won’t be easy, but it’s SO important for the sanity of your family and yourself. Say goodbye now.

When you say goodbye to cranky mommy, does that mean she will never return? No. She will most definitely return, sometimes she’ll stand in the corner lurking. other times she will be persistent, knocking on your door until you finally open up.

But you have the choice. You get to decide whether you let her in or not.

You can make the break up with cranky mom easier on yourself.

No break up is easy. Especially if you have had a relationship for a long time. It becomes routine, comfortable even.

But there are certain things you can do to make breaking up with this Debbie downer so much easier.

I have a confession to make.

I had a relationship with cranky mommy. She sometimes still lingers. It’s tempting to let her in. Sometimes our relationship starts back up albeit briefly.

In all seriousness, you don’t have to stay stuck in a vicious cycle of being a cranky mom.

There are many downfalls to staying stuck in the cranky mom rut. Your children feel it. Your spouse feels it. Although we don’t believe our attitudes and feelings as moms should affect our children and spouse, they do.

You know the saying “If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy?” It’s funny because it’s true. Moms are the hearts of our homes. We have the chance to affect our families for the better or for the worse. No, I am not saying you will always be happy go lucky and that you cannot ever be cranky. We are humans after all. But what happens when you are stuck in cranky mom mode ALL the time? How is that beneficial to you or your family?

It’s not. Being able to help ourselves as moms is 100% important.

We are not doing anyone any favors if we are sacrificing our own mental health and self-care for the sake of “being a mom.”

Despite what society tells us, taking care of ourselves as moms should be a priority.

Why? First, our children learn from us. Especially our daughters. If they see you sacrificing your own health, mental health, and self-care for the sake of raising a family, they may start to believe it’s the only acceptable way to parent and raise a family.

Is it noble? Yes. Is it the right way to raise a family? Honestly, I don’t think so in my opinion. Yes, as a mom you will sacrifice many things. The last piece of cake you desperately wanted, the sleep that beckons you while your children are little, and even peace and quiet.

Does this mean you have to sacrifice your sanity and mental health? No, it doesn’t. In fact, if you sacrifice your mental health and self-care, your children may fall into the same vicious cycle that has been dragging you down, because then they will start to believe this is the right way to parent. Children learn from what they see, not what they hear.

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Have you ever been tempted to grab the box of chocolates and hide out in the bathroom until bedtime?

You’ve been there too haven’t you, momma? Sitting in the middle of your floor, surrounded by baskets of laundry begging to be folded. And it’s not like this laundry is fresh out of the dryer. No, ma’am. Those baskets have been sitting there for five days straight, mocking you.

You look over to see your dirty dishes piling out of the sink. Your oldest child sits at the table impatiently waiting for you to help her with school work. Next to you sits your youngest child, begging you to play a game with her, laying the guilt trip on strong.

You glance at the refrigerator and remember you forgot to plan something for dinner.

It’s almost 5 o’clock and bedtime feels too far away.

Chaos. It’s all you feel. Where is peace? Is creating a peaceful home even a reality anymore?

It can be! I can help you create the peaceful home you desire for your family. As a subscriber bonus, when you sign up I will send you my free Peaceful Nest Planner. You can start planning your peaceful nest today so you have time for those darn chocolates!

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Sometimes, we are just having a bad mom day.

Bad mom days are normal. I have bad mom days and so do you. Don’t believe anyone who tells you they don’t have any bad mom days.

What do you do when you are having a bad mom day? You begin again. I tell my kids all the time that we all have bad days and bad moments, the awesome thing about life is you can start again.

Have you ever apologized to a child? It’s so humbling. Also, kids are probably the most forgiving humans around. Ask your kids for forgiveness if you have been taking out cranky mom on them, snapping when you shouldn’t, not listen, etc. Then start again.

You don’t want your child growing up and googling “how to deal with a cranky mother.”

It’s honestly best to deal with cranky mother now because being a cranky mother can affect more than just you.

Your crankiness will affect your children whether you mean for it to or not.

So how can you stop being a cranky mom?

There are several different ways you can stop being a cranky mom.

I want to start with these 5 simple and doable tips that can get you started. Then at the end of this post, I’ll link some more ideas!

How To Stop Being a Grumpy Mom

Look to see what your self-care needs are.

Are you sacrificing your self-care needs for the sake of being a mom?

STOP!

Yes, you will sacrifice so much as a mom. Sleep, time, money, etc. BUT you do not need to sacrifice self-care.

You are not a martyr for sacrificing self-care. You are hurting yourself and your family for several reasons.

One, you are teaching your children that to be a good parent then you need to sacrifice the things YOU NEED. Self-care is not a luxury. Self-care is a necessity for everyone, including moms. Secondly, you are hurting yourself by not giving your body and soul what you need to thrive, which in turn hurts your family.

If you find yourself becoming a cranky mom and reverting to angry parenting, then take a look to see if you are sacrificing your self-care.

Examine your mental health.

Mental health is very important.

If we sacrifice our own mental health as moms then we will not be doing any one in our families any favors.

Maybe you are asking yourself, how to become a more peaceful parent? Sometimes all it comes down to is taking care of your mindset and mental health.

Early on in my parenting journey, I dealt with depression. Our son passed away in 2011 and I struggled with depression and anxiety for a while. Sometimes I still do. When our oldest daughter was a little over one I knew I needed to get a handle on my mental health and the anxiety/depression that plagued me. Doing so has done wonders for myself and my family. I still make it a point to pay attention to my triggers and I know when the anxiety and depression may start creeping in. That’s when I need to take steps to help myself.

Get enough sleep and rest.

Sometimes our crankiness comes down to being downright exhausted. How can you be a peaceful parent when you are exhausted all the time?

Maybe you are a working mom and it leaves you exhausted all the time. Or maybe you are a stay at home mom and that job in itself leave you feeling tired all the time.

When you have babies it can be difficult to get enough sleep and rest. But this is why I believe it is important to have someone or a few people you can turn to that can help you during these trying times. Getting enough rest and sleep can do so much for you, even for your patience. You may find yourself saying I don’t have the patience to be a mom. But sometimes the patience only comes when we are fully and completely rested.

Find your lifelines.

Do you know the saying: It takes a village? In a society where we are more connected than ever, many moms feel more and more isolated. Why is this?

Because we no longer consider ourselves a part of a village. We do us, and they do them, is the mentality so many people have these days.

But as a mom, it is important to find your village, or your lifelines.

Why are life lines important and what is a life line anyway?

Did you ever watch the show Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Each contestant is given a lifeline – someone to call when they just don’t know the answer. More often than not, their life-lines were able to help them.

You need life-lines in your life that you can call and say “hey, I’m drowning here. Can you please help me??” More often than not, if you have the right lifelines, they will jump at the chance to help you.

Find your village, the one or two people you can call and say “I need help.” Don’t let pride stand in your way of helping yourself and your family by reaching out to someone who loves you.

Give yourself and your family plenty of grace.

Sometimes, we are cranky moms because we have too high of expectations of ourselves or our families.

Sometimes we set ourselves up on a pedestal. Expecting to be able to do it all without any help necessary. When we start to fail, the cranky mom attitude sets in. We are made at ourselves because we can’t do it all. We are human.

Other times we set our families up on pedestals. We expect them to behave a certain way, act a certain way, and when they fail, we lay into them. Why can’t they just get it together? We forget that our spouse and our children, they are human too.

Grace while raising a family and building a marriage is so important. Why? Grace is saying to the other person, I know you made a mistake or didn’t meet a standard, but I also know you are human. I’m letting this go, I’m lowering my expectations and accepting that you are only human and no one is perfect.

You are not a perfect momma, neither is your family. Grace is accepting this fact and saying let’s roll with the punches. Give yourself grace and give your family grace.

No More Angry Mom

You can start becoming a more peaceful parent today and say goodbye to angry and cranky mom.

Do you want more tips on how to break up with cranky mommy and become a more peaceful mom today? Below are some great ideas:

Here are 13 ideas to say goodbye to cranky mom!

14 Best Tips To Overcome Angry Mommy Today

Habits of Incredibly peaceful moms.

If you are new to the Peaceful Nest Blog, welcome!

Be sure to read my top posts on parenting:

• Why Consistent Parenting Matters
• 12 Habits of Immensely Peaceful Moms
• 63 Mom Hacks That Are Pure Genius
• Connect With Your Child and Build Up Their Heart

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