Everyone wants to be happy. Sometimes it feels as though happiness is right in our grasp. Other times it feels like we may never get there. When you think of joy, sometimes you think of being a positive person, which leads me to the topic of Positive Psychology. Right now, I am earning my Master’s degree in Positive Psychology, and I love everything I’m learning about this specific field of Psychology. When people hear Positive Psychology, they may automatically assume it just means being optimistic. However, this subfield of Psychology goes much deeper than that. Positive Psychology in parenting is a great way to create a peaceful home.
What is Positive Psychology?
Positive psychology is defined as the scientific study of human flourishing and well-being.
The father of Positive Psychology is considered to be Martin Seligman. He started learning more and applying this branch of Psychology in 1998.
Positive Psychology does not replace Psychology. It is a sub-branch of this field that focuses on a person’s strength and flourishing as opposed to the negative side of life. I have heard it coined as a way to take people who may feel stuck with ordinary lives and help better their situations instead of focusing on the negative side of life.
Positive Psychology focuses more on how we can improve our lives, improve our resilience, and focus on our strengths to create an even better life than we can imagine.
Can Positive Psychology Help You Become a More Peaceful and Joyous Mom?
That brings me to the question, “can Positive Psychology help you become a more positive and peaceful mom?” In my experience, yes, it can. It is possible to take the techniques of Positive Psychology and apply them to your everyday life, improving your mental and emotional health and leading to a better quality of motherhood. Furthermore, using these specific techniques directly in step with your motherhood and parenting is possible. Doing so can help you create the peaceful home life that you want.
Positive Psychology Can Change Your Parenting
Positive Psychology helps you focus on several different areas. The key areas Positive Psychology focus on are: gratitude, strength, flourishing, well-being, and resilience. When you focus on these areas of your life, it will change your parenting.
Ways to Use Positive Psychology in Parenting
Many Positive Psychology techniques can be applied to positive parenting. We are going to look at a few of them below.
Gratitude Journal
Have you ever heard of a gratitude journal? Even though this seems like a simple idea. Creating a gratitude journal can help you focus on the positives in your life. Take this activity even further, and use it directly in your parenting. For example, you can write something you are grateful for every day about each child. You can write down one thing you are thankful for daily from your parenting journey. The possibilities are endless.
Positive Affirmations
Positive affirmations are a way to speak positivity into your life. You can use positive affirmations with yourself. Remind yourself who you are, who God created you to be, and what type of mother you are. For example, if I’m feeling frustrated, I can step back, go into my bedroom and say I am a calm mom, an understanding mom, and a peaceful mom. There are so many different words that you can speak into your life, including scripture, that can help you become more positive as a mom.
Positive affirmations are also a great tool to use with your children. Speaking positivity into their lives, who God created them to be, and who you know them to be can help shape their view of themselves.
My husband and I try to constantly speak into our children’s lives, who we know God has called them to be. For example, we will do an exercise where we have them repeat after me and say; I am a child of God, I can do hard things, I was made with a purpose, I am beautiful, I am kind. The phrases change, but the meaning stays the same. To help shape our view of ourselves and our children’s view of themselves.
Focus on Problem-Solving
It can be normal to focus on the negative side of situations in life. However, if you constantly focus on the negativity, your child can pick it up and start doing the same thing themselves. Training your mind to focus on problem-solving instead of what is going wrong can create a more peaceful atmosphere in your home and teach the vital skill of facing challenging problems.
Gratitude Visit
Early in my education for Positive Psychology, I had to do a gratitude visit. This is a simple exercise but can have so much meaning. You sit down and think about somebody who has changed your life in some way, shows your strength, or someone you are the most grateful for. Then, write them a letter, telling them why you are thankful to them. Don’t just stop there. Visit them, and read it out loud instead of just handing them the letter. You can train your mind to think about the people who have made such a difference and focus on gratitude, which can benefit the person you are thanking and yourself.
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Noise Canceling
There is noise all around us. The electronics in our home, our phones buzzing, the dishwasher and laundry running every day, not to mention the questions our children ask, the requests from schools and work. There is so much noise all around us. A way that you can practice Positive Psychology is by focusing on noise canceling. This is a simple technique that can help you become more mindful. Shut off all electronics, and get into a quiet place with no noise, not even children asking you questions. This can be for five minutes. This can be for an hour or for as long as you need. And focus on being. Clear your mind to stop the noise and let go of the busyness.
Giving and Finding Forgiveness
Giving forgiveness can be one of the hardest things a person can do. I have always been told, and I know for a fact, that forgiveness is more for you than it is for the other person.
Holding onto grudges can create bitterness in our lives which we do not need and cannot afford. If you seek a peaceful and positive home life for your family, giving forgiveness can be one of the best things you can do. I understand that some things are complicated to forgive. Forgiving a person in your heart without contacting them may be the best thing you can do for yourself in that case. On the flip side, seeking forgiveness is also beneficial to create a positive impact for you and your children.
Count Kindness
How do you count kindness? When you see your child being kind on their own merit, keep track of that in your mind. Tell them that you noticed how kind they were towards their sibling, friends, or animals, whatever it might be. When we pay attention to the kindness around us, it changes our view of people in general and encourages our children to continue to be kind.
Three Things
Three things is a great exercise for us, as well as for our children. Write down three positive things that happened to you. This could be as simple as getting a close spot at the grocery store to something more significant such as a promotion. Teach your children to think back on their day and look at the different things that happened. Doing so can help them notice small things that may not seem like a big deal but have a significant impact on their day.
Find Your Strength and Improve It
One of the main focuses of Positive Psychology is finding your strength and then improving it. There are so many different strength-finding assessments that can help you find your specific strength. After you find your strength, or if you already know, focus on ways to improve it. For example, my strength is love. So how can I improve on love in my parenting journey? I can show my children how I love them more each day by doing different acts of kindness for them. I can spread love to my family and friends in need. There are so many different ways we can improve upon our strengths.
Savor
Savoring is one of the most simple but incredible things you can do to create a positive life. Savoring means to enjoy. Be in the moment, and savor what is happening in your specific life and day. Don’t worry so much about what is happening tomorrow; instead, focus on what is happening today, at this moment, and savor it.
Mindfulness Training
What does it mean to be mindful? It means you are aware of and paying attention to what is happening in your life. For example, being a more mindful parent means paying attention to how your parenting affects your children and being intentional with how you parent them. Mindfulness training builds on these techniques. You are waking up daily and focusing on how you can be more intentional as a mom and purposeful in your life.
Acts of Kindness
Acts of kindness can increase your quality of life. We tend to be more positive and happier when we put others ahead of ourselves. This is a great thing to teach your children.
Finding Meaning
Another exercise that you can use in positive parenting is finding your meaning. What is your purpose in your life? What do you want your parenting journey to look like? What is your why? These are all great questions that can help you find meaning, not only in life but in your motherhood.
What is PERMA?
PERMA is an acronym for positive emotion, engagement, relationships, meaning, and achievement. These are the five elements that Martin Seligman deemed to make up a good life. These specific branches of life can help create happiness, sustain it, and increase well-being.
When we focus on positive emotions, we can encourage well-being in our lives. Positive emotions are things such as kindness, helpfulness, contentment, etc. Being present and engaged in our and our children’s lives is crucial to creating a positive family life. Focusing on relationships will encourage well-being. Focusing on the meaning of our life can enable flourishing and create a positive home atmosphere. Having a sense of purpose and achievement also contributes to well-being.
These are all vital elements to creating a positive life and home atmosphere for our families.
What is Flourishing?
Flourishing, also known as thriving, is well-being and authentic living that helps increase happiness. Focusing on the five elements of Perma can help us flourish.
Applying Flourishing to Parenting
Is it possible to apply flourishing to parenting? I believe that it is. When we focus specifically on the elements of PERMA, then use them in our motherhood journey. Then we can take steps to help lead to a more positive home life for ourselves and our children. There are many ways to apply PERMA and flourishing our parenting journey. You can start by implementing the techniques discussed in this post in your everyday life and parenting techniques. Doing so will encourage flourishing in both your life and parenting.
Applying Positive Psychology to Parenting
Positive Psychology can be applied to parenting in specific ways that will encourage thriving in your family. Focus on one or two of these techniques and see how they improve your home life. You can create the positive and peaceful home you desire.
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Hi there, I’m Jenna! I am a devoted mommy and wife. As well as an advocate for children and creating a peaceful atmosphere for those we love. I co-wrote Faith Actually: Living Life After Tragedy with my husband. I have my Bachelor’s Degree in Biblical Studies and currently working toward my Master’s in Positive Psychology. My number one desire is to create a peaceful home life for my family. My second desire is to share with you the tips I learn along the way!