How to Go From Irritated Mom to A Calm Mom

Please Share With Your Friends!

Do you let irritation and frustration rule your motherhood?

I have a confession to make. I am not always a calm mom. But I wake up every day and strive to be the calmest mom I can be. But sometimes I come up short, and that is OK. Sometimes I am an irritated mom.

I have unnecessarily snapped at my children out of frustration and irritation. I have unnecessarily snapped my husband out of frustration and irritation.

It’s normal because I’m human, we’re all human, and we’re all going to make mistakes. But it’s when we allow frustration and irritation to rule over our motherhood and our household that it becomes a problem.

Is it possible to go from being an irritated mom to a calmer mom?

Sometimes it may seem like becoming a calm mom is a far-fetched dream. There are too many triggers, there are too many emotions, and there’s too much that you have to do on your plate.

Here’s the thing: it is possible to be a calmer mom. How do I know? Because I have lived it. I have allowed frustration and irritation to control how I react to situations in my household.

I have been a reactive parent and know that being a reactive parent is not a good path for my family or my children.

A better option is becoming a peaceful parent. But how do you become a peaceful or calm mom when you’re so used to reacting to situations based on emotions?

How can being an irritated mom affect your household?

Do you know the old saying, “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy?” I know that this is supposed to be a funny thing. But it’s really true.

This is true because you are the center of your household. Yes, there are other people in your home, but the one person who has the biggest ability to make or break the atmosphere in their home is the mother.

I know that is not fair, and I’m not saying that you can’t have your emotions and frustrations because of this. It’s also important to note that dads also play a huge role in the atmosphere of their home.

It is important to be mindful of how our reactions to different situations and emotions play a part in our spouse’s day and in our child’s day.

If you don’t believe me, then do an experiment.

When your child wakes up happy, snap at them for something that is not necessary. After you do that, watch the light go out of their day.

This might seem extreme, but it’s happened to me before, and if you’re being honest with yourself, it’s happened to you before. Am I right? Now do the same thing to your spouse. 

You have the ability as the foundation of your house to build it up or tear it down. I don’t know about you but I want to build up my household, I want to build up my spouse, and I want to build up my children. This comes with being intentional with how we are reacting toward situations.

9 Simple Tips to Go From Irritated Mom to Calmer Mom.

Make self-care a priority.

You cannot pour from an empty cup. I know you have heard this saying before, but it is true.

Moms are the only group in society that get told they need to sacrifice self-care to be good moms.

This is not true.

In fact, I would argue that to be a good mom, you need to prioritize self-care. Because when you feel your best, and you are taking care of yourself, you are more capable of taking care of the people you are responsible for.

Use the hair tie trick.

I have heard this trick taught in different ways. But basically, the concept is the same.

Put a hair tie on your wrist when you are at home with your children. When you become irritated and snap at your children, move the hair tie to your other wrist. Continue to do this all day.

This simple activity can help you start recognizing how your emotions are being portrayed toward your children.

This simple exercise can help you recognize when you’re irritated and frustrated.

I’ve also read another way to do this is to grab a stack of hair ties, and every time you are irritated towards your children, put a hair tie on your wrist. By the end of the day, you will see how many times you were irritated.

This is a great way to start recognizing those moments you may not have recognized.

Learn to recognize your triggers.

What are some things that set you off? What are some things that irritate you or annoy you?

Is it not having any time in the morning by yourself? If this is the case, do your best to get up in the morning before your children wake up.

Do you become irritated when you feel unprepared for the day? Then take a few minutes every evening and plan for the next day.

Learn to recognize what triggers you and what makes you irritated and annoyed. Then take action to help curb that irritation and annoyance.

I know that some things are unavoidable stressors in our lives as adults. These stressors can cause us to be irritated moms. Here is when recognizing your triggers come in handy because you can manage them. You can learn to control your irritations so that you are not taking your annoyances out on your children.

Explore some great ways on how to connect with your child’s heart while you are disciplining.

Start a journal and write it down.

Having an outlet to talk about how you’re feeling is important. I’m a huge advocate of having somebody to talk to, whether it is a close friend, your spouse, your mom, or even a counselor.

But not everybody has this outlet. If you feel more comfortable, start a journal and write down the things that irritate you to get them out so they’re not bottled up and spilling out on the people you love.

Find a tribe of moms.

Do you have a close friend you can talk to about what is going on in your life?

Do you have somebody you can talk to when you’re annoyed or irritated and just need to blow off steam? Find your mommy tribe.

Find other women that understand you, have been in your shoes, or are going through what you’re going through right now.

Nobody wants to do this parenting journey alone. But with the busyness of our daily lives, oftentimes, moms end up feeling extremely alone.

If you want to, you can join our mommy tribe on Facebook called Chaos to Calm. It is filled with wonderful women who are supportive and kind no matter who you are or where you are in your journey as a mom.

Take a look at your expectations of yourself and your child.

Sometimes I notice I begin to start being a more irritated mom when I expect too much out of myself.

I expect myself to be able to do everything. Sometimes I have to prioritize. I have to look at the expectations I have placed on myself and say, “Jenna, you have put too much on your shoulders, and you need to bring it down just a little bit.”

It is also important to take a look at the expectations you have for your children. Because humans are humans and everybody makes mistakes. If your expectations are too high, then you’ll find yourself feeling way more irritated than if you just relaxed and approached situations in a calm peaceful manner.

Plan ahead to combat stress.

Create a plan. I am not a planner.

My personality is type-B. I am relaxed when it comes to my household and when it comes to my children.

However, I am married to someone who is a type-A personality. I have learned it is easier for all of us and our house for me to plan ahead certain things like chores and events to combat my stress, the stress on my husband, and the stress on my children.

One simple thing you can do is plan your day or week ahead, so you are not feeling stressed out, your family is not feeling stressed out, and you can enjoy each other more. 

You do not have to stay stuck as an irritated mom! You can implement these simple tips to help you become a calmer and more peaceful mom.

If you are new to the Peaceful Nest Blog, welcome!

Be sure to read my top posts on parenting:

• Why Consistent Parenting Matters
• 12 Habits of Immensely Peaceful Moms
• 63 Mom Hacks That Are Pure Genius
• Connect With Your Child and Build Up Their Heart

Are you looking for ways to become a peaceful mom, but you aren’t sure how?

I created a free planner for moms like me who want to create a peaceful home but let the stress of never having it all together defeat them because whoever has it together? The best we can do is plan for peace and roll with the punches, right? If you want your free planner, you can get it below!

Are you looking for a mommy tribe?

Our Facebook group, From Chaos to Calm, is full of encouraging and supportive moms just like you. We would love to have you join us! Join From Chaos to Calm Mom group on Facebook.

Don’t forget to follow The Peaceful Nest on Facebook and Instagram!

And remember, sharing is caring! Share this post on Pinterest below!