How To Become A More Intentional Mom

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What Is Intentional Parenting?

Have you ever heard the coined phrase intentional parenting? What exactly does it mean to be an intentional parent?

Definition of intentional: done on purpose; deliberate.

Definition of parenting: “the activity of bringing up a child as a parent.“

Now that we know those two definitions, what is the definition of intentional parenting? Basically, it is parenting on purpose. Every action you take is a direct reaction. Right? Whether we are trying to or not, we are constantly helping shape habits in our children. To be an intentional parent is to be mindful of what you are doing while raising your child.

It is seeing the end goal of parenting healthy, happy children and raising contributing and healthy adults in your mind.

What is the difference between intentional parenting and helicopter parenting?

You have probably heard the phrase helicopter parenting. What is the difference between helicopter parenting and intentional parenting? Is there even a difference?

Helicopter parenting is “a parent who takes an overprotective or excessive interest in the life of their child or children.”

There’s nothing wrong with helicopter parenting if that’s what you want to do while raising your children. However, there is a difference between helicopter parenting and intentional parenting.

What is the difference?

When being an intentional parent, you will think about how the habits you are helping form in your child will help them in the future. You will consider how your reactions are teaching your child.

Intentional parenting is not being overprotective. Intentional parenting is being mindful of who you are raising and how you are raising that little person.

How can intentional parenting change your relationship with your child?

Being an intentional parent will change how you view children, not just your own.

You will see your child as a human being. One who has his or her own personality, traits, and talents.

How can being an intentional parent change your life?

Being an intentional parent can and will change your life! For starters, it can help you become a calmer mom.

How? It will transform your mind from thinking about quick fixes, getting through the day and your children out of your hair, and more about how you can use each moment to help your child grow into who they are meant to be.

When you start being more intentional with your children, you may become more intentional with everyone in your life!

8 Simple Ways You Can Become A More Intentional Parent Today

Encourage Independence

If you want to be an intentional parent, one thing you can do is encourage independence in your children.

The habits your child forms now will be carried into adulthood with them. Encouraging them to be independent can come in handy for their self-confidence and work ethic.

With independence also comes problem-solving.

Everyone should have good problem-solving skills.

When you encourage independence in your children, they can start problem-solving, working out issues with their friends and siblings, and cultivating a good work ethic. All of these habits are essential as your child grows.

As an intentional parent who encourages independence and problem-solving, you will be seeing your child’s future as the end game. Taking every moment you can to help them succeed as they grow.

View Your Child as Having Their Own Personality and Traits

Let’s face it. Your child is not you.

Your child has his or her own personality. They may be conservative or bold. Maybe they are free thinkers and logical. Or maybe your child has a creative streak.

Being more intentional with your children means viewing them as having their own personalities apart from you and your significant other. Your child is not their siblings. Your child is not you or your spouse.

I believe every child is gifted with a uniqueness that makes them their own. If you try to make your child exactly like you, you will fail miserably, and your child will also be miserable. If you try to compare your child to the other children in your life, you will have the same results.

Intentional parenting means seeing your child apart from you and the other loved ones in your life.

Let Your Child Learn At His/Her Own Pace

Childhood is not a race.

Sometimes it is hard not to believe that all children need to compete with one another. Public schools tell us they do. Society tells us they need to.

It’s easy to start to feel the pressure of “my child needs to learn all of this and be at the same level as his/her peers.”

The truth is every child is different and learns at their own pace at different times. Intentional parenting means letting your child learn how they learn best when they are ready.

Learn to Apologize to Your Child

Have you ever apologized to a child?

It is a very humbling experience, let me tell you.

Have you ever snapped at your child when they don’t deserve it? (no one ever deserves to be snapped at!) Have you ever gotten agitated and cranky, taking it out on your children because they were in the line of fire?

I have. My hand is all the way raised up. But in the same way, we don’t deserve to be snapped at just because someone is in a foul mood; our children don’t deserve our snappiness either. Our children will learn to humble themselves and apologize from us.

They will also learn to be too prideful to apologize from us too.

Being an intentional parent means being mindful of our actions and owning up to them when we know we are in the wrong. Even when the person we have wronged was our own children.

Focus on Habit Training

Our children carry with them into adulthood the habits they learn while young.

Whether the habits are good or bad, our children continuously learn habits from us and their outside influence.

Being an intentional parent means considering the habits you are cultivating in your children. Are you instilling good habits in them? Are you looking past the bad habits thinking they will care for themselves? The truth is, those bad habits won’t take care of themselves. They will just carry along into adulthood.

One of my favorite educators was around in the 1800s. Her name was Charlotte Mason. This quote from her is one I quote to myself often when I’m feeling the strain of habit training.

The mother who takes pains to endow her children with good habits secures for herself smooth and easy days. While she who lets their habits take care of themselves has a weary life of endless friction with her children.

Charlotte Mason

View Your Child as A Little Human, No Different Than You

Sometimes it is easy to forget that your child is just a little human.

They have feelings, thoughts, ideas, and needs, just like you and me.

When being an intentional parent, you remember that your child is not much different than you. The only difference is they are smaller and not quite as mature. They are still little people.

Ask your child about what goes on in their mind. What are their thoughts? Ideas? Ask what do they think of big (age-appropriate) concepts that exist in the world today? What interests them? Etc.

Be All In

In today’s society, being easily distracted happens far too often.

When you are with your child, be all in. Be present.

Make it a point to put away the things that distract you. Does your phone have your attention more than your child’s? Is arguing with that stranger on the internet more important than your family mealtime?

Take time to assess what distracts you from your child who is waiting for you. Waiting for your ear, your time, or even a simple hug. Be all in with your parenting. Take the time and effort to consider your parenting and how it affects your child.

Be On The Same Page As Your Partner

It’s always important to be on the same page as your partner, especially when it comes to parenting.

Your children need to see that you and their dad (or mom) are always on the same page!

Why is this so important? Children learn very quickly and early on if they can pit mommy and daddy against one another. They are masters at trying to get their way (it’s a natural human trait, everyone is born with the desire to get their way.)

When your child knows there is no room for negotiating or changing a parent’s mind by asking a different parent, they won’t get very far. This will help your child remember the boundaries you have in your family.

It’s also important to talk about the way you want to correct your child’s misbehavior with your child, what activities are okay, if they need to do certain chores, etc. And everything else that parenting involves with your significant other. This will ensure no grey areas, ensuring you’re presenting a united front.

Why Your Children Need You to Be Intentional With Your Parenting

When we enter parenthood, we are completely unprepared. This doesn’t negate our job as parents. Raising children is the most important job out there. You are helping a little person figure out who they are and who they can be. Your child needs you to be intentional with your parenting so they can reach their full potential and learn how to grow. Most habits a child learns while small carry with them into adulthood. Some habits can make or break a person. This is why parenting with intention every day is important. Your child is counting on you!

Related: 14 Best Tips To Overcome Angry Mommy Today

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Be sure to read my top posts on parenting:

• Why Consistent Parenting Matters
• 12 Habits of Immensely Peaceful Moms
• 63 Mom Hacks That Are Pure Genius
• Connect With Your Child and Build Up Their Heart

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