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What does it mean to parent from peace?

Do you ever feel like angry mommy comes out of nowhere? With everything on our plates it’s sometimes hard to start parenting from peace. 

What does parenting from peace even mean? Parenting from peace means being able to parents in the good times and the bad times without becoming stressed, overwhelmed, overworked and overall an angry mommy.

As moms, it is very easy to give into frustration on a daily basis. Sometimes parenting from peace seems like a far fetched dream only the perfect mom can obtain.

But here in society we are told as mom’s we need to do all of this, do all of that, look perfect, our kids behave perfectly, and so much more.

But the reality is none of those ideals are obtain nor should they be obtainable.

To parent from peace means you accept your flaws, your family’s flows, your children’s flaws, yet you don’t stress about every single detail.

Parenting from peace means you do your best every day to be the best mother you can be. It means you love your children and your family for who they are. You teach them to be who God has created to them to be. And it means you do not give into this idea that you have to be perfect in order to be a great mom.

Parenting from peace means being able to do your very best, yet still able to accept the bad days without allowing angry mommy out of the closet. You have peace knowing that you’ve done the very best you can with what God has given you.

Parenting from peace means being able to parents in the good times and the bad times without becoming stressed, overwhelmed, overworked and overall an angry mommy.

Jenna Jury

Why is parenting from peace important?

Parenting from peace is extremely important as a mom. This models positive behavior for our children. Parenting from peace teaches our children that it is possible to be a good mom and not be stressed out all the time. It teaches our children to be accepting of their family’s and everybody’s quirks. It allows them to be them and who they are without picking at every single detail.

Parenting from peace also gives us peace of mind.  

It reinforces the lifestyle that you desire to live which is a peaceful lifestyle. It’s important to acknowledge that true peace only comes from God himself. God does not want us to live with anxiety, frustration, and anger as a mom. He wants us to live a peaceful and joyful life with our family.

When you learn to parent from peace you may find that you have less anxiety and frustration in your life. This is a huge bonus!

Who can we look to for a model for parenting from peace?

As a mom I love to watch, listen to and read about other moms who are a wonderful role models. Who I can model my parenting after.

I turn to my mom and other family members for advice on how to be a great mom.

There is nothing wrong with looking for good role models to speak into our lives. In fact we should be on the lookout for wonderful positive role models that we can talk to when we are struggling as a mom or even when we have good days as a mom.

But the one person that we should be modeling our parenting after is Jesus Christ.

Now hear me out, I know that Jesus was not a parent but he is God incarnate which means he is our heavenly Father. Who better to model our parents in after than Jesus Christ and how he interacted with everyone he came across?

Jesus had a very loving spirit to everyone he encountered. He did not condemn, he loved. It is important to model our behavior as a mom after how Jesus Christ interacted with the people around him.

In my post connecting with your child’s heart, I give some good ideas on how you can connect with your child’s heart while also focusing on correction.

John 14:27 says: 

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”

John 14:27

True peace comes from Jesus Christ. It is possible to be a peaceful mom when we dig into his word and we focus on a relationship with him.

If we look to the world to give us peace we will be left disappointed. I don’t know about you, but everywhere I look there is very little peace in this world. We cannot look to this world for our peace. But we can be a peaceful mom in the world that’s full of turmoil. It is possible.

Tips for parenting from peace

Here are a few tips that you can implement every day to help you become a more peaceful mom and start parenting from peace if that is what you desire to do!

You can only start parenting from peace when you look only to God to give you peace.

The very first tip that I have for you to become a more peaceful parent is to look only to God to give you your peace. You will not find peace anywhere in this world apart from God. Not true peace. So, if you want to start parenting from peace it’s very important to turn your eyes towards God, His word and His heart for you.

Parenting from peace starts with spending time with God everyday.

Spend time with God every single day. This can be hard especially as busy moms. We’re up late, we wake up just early enough to get our kids ready. Our days are jam packed full.

It’s easy to put that time the we want to spend with God on the back burner and say I will get to it. But God can speak into your life in a way no one else can.

Parenting from peace starts with our relationship with Him. And a relationship is only grown when we spend time in prayer, in his word digging in and seeing what it is that God desires for us.

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Remember that connection is our main priority with our children. Correction will come second nature when we focus on connection.

Connection should be our number one priority when it comes to our children. It is very easy to put connection on the back burner, especially when we’re focusing on discipline and correcting her child’s behavior.

If all we do is try to fix their behavior but not connect with our child’s heart, we are not making progress. We are just putting a blindfold over what truly matters. 

When we take the time to connect with our child’s heart first then correction will come.

Take time for self-care.

Self-care is so important as a mom! I read a quote the other day that I thought was absolutely amazing I’m going to share it here: 

The fact that showering is marketed to moms as Self-care is just another example of how even a woman’s most basic needs are considered a luxury compared to every other person on earth.

Mother Like A Boss, Kendra Hennessy

Wow. This turned self-care and the thought of self-care around for me.

Why is it as moms, we feel that ourselves and our needs are not important?

It is important to take care of yourself.

It is important for me to take care of myself. Yes, our children are very important, our husbands are equally as important, and our house work that is important too.

But none of those things are more important than your basic needs.

Because what we do as moms, especially if we have a little girls, when we neglect our basic needs, we teach them to take care of themselves only until they become a mom. But once they become a mom, sorry honey you’re out of luck, you can’t take care of yourself anymore.

This is appalling to me. We put ourselves on the back burner right now or when our children are younger, we don’t take care of ourselves and then we wonder why we’re burn out, depressed, anxious, sad and frustrated and angry.

Self-care is so important. So start practicing it for yourself.

Make time for yourself/spouse everyday and every week.

Make some time for yourself every day or every week. It can be 10 minutes a day or an hour a day. Whatever it is that you need, carve that time out for yourself.

On top of that time for yourself, carve some time out for your relationship with your spouse. Because if your relationship with your spouse is under stress you will be under stress too, and it will be hard to parent from peace.

Parenting from peace can start to happen when you remember your child is only human.

That beautiful precious child you gave birth to or adopted, that child is a human being. That child is not just some child whose life does it matter until they turn 18.

There’s something my mamaw always said and I’ve tried to implement this with every child in my life. Children are just a little people who have big ideas and thoughts just like you. Talk to children like you would an adult. 

Of course I don’t talk about mature subjects with my children until they are ready. But I don’t dumb things down for them either. Children are naturally curious. They want to know, they don’t want to be entertained with fluff and baby talk. If you give them the opportunity to be inquisitive they will follow suit.

The more children feel like their thoughts and ideas are valued, the more likely the power struggle you may have with them will start to lessen. Allowing you to start parenting from peace.

Lower expectations/don’t expect perfection.

Stop expecting perfection from your children. We are not perfect as moms, I have lost my temper before with my children. I have yelled at them for some of the silliest things. Then I will have to come back and apologize to them. I apologize because I want them to understand that not anybody is perfect. They are not perfect, and I cannot expect them to be perfect when I can barely keep myself together some days. I want to offer the same grace to my children that they offer to me. Have you ever apologized to a child? It’s a very humbling experience, and most children are so forgiving.

Every single person has a bad day. You, your spouse, your family members, and even your children. Pay attention to your child’s cues. Do you know when they get hungry? When are they typically tired? Do you know when their senses have been overloaded? When you pay attention to those cues it’s easier to figure out what is going on with your child and create a good routine that helps them thrive every day.

Find your people.

Find your people. The people that you can turn to when you are frustrated, find the people that you can talk to, vent to. But not just anybody, find your people that encourage you to be the best mom you can be.

Set boundaries.

Set boundaries for yourself, set boundaries for your children, and set boundaries for the people around you, especially the energy vampires. In order to parent from peace you need to be able to give your energy to your children and your family. If you are spending too much energy on people that are sucking it out of you then you will not have leftover energy for your family members. 

Remember it’s absolutely OK to set boundaries with anybody.

Teach your children to help around the house, do things on their own.

Teaching your children how to do chores and help around the house will relieve some of the burden off of you.

I absolutely love with my daughter does the dishwasher. She is extremely helpful, and it takes the burden of doing a chore that’s not my favorite, so I can put my focus on something else.

Plus it teaches her a good work ethic. She is not the only one who does chores around our house. My younger two also do chores. I believe that is very important that children do age-appropriate chores and to be helpful around the house that they live in.

Take a few minutes to process disobedience/ practice not reacting right away.

Sometimes we become reactive. But the truth is being a reactive parent does not benefit you and it does not benefit your children. Take a few minutes to process your child’s disobedience before You react. There is a chance that your child did not mean to disobey you, or that the disobedience may be bigger in the moment than it actually is. Overreacting is a quality that comes with reactive parenting, and it is not a good place to be as a parent.

Take a few minutes to process your child’s disobedience before you react. Overreacting is a quality that comes with reactive parenting, and it is not a good place to be as a parent.

Jenna Jury

When you take a few minutes to practice pausing. It can help you decide on how to handle if your child was disobedient.

So the next time your child disobeys you practice the peaceful pause. Stop, close your eyes and count to 20. This will help you calm down, so you can think rationally and guide your child in correction while also being able to connect to their heart during this lesson.

Practice calm down techniques for yourself and child.

Calm down techniques are so helpful when it comes to your children and yourself.

My oldest daughter struggles with anxiety sometimes.

Her reactions to circumstances that may happen to her tend to be very big and over-the-top.

As her mom if I was to be at a reactive parent I could tell her to stop being so dramatic, just knock it off. I’m not gonna lie, I may have said that a time or two. And if you say that you have never been there as a mom you either have not been a mom for very long or you are lying. But I know that being reactive to her over the top reactions only adds to a stressful event.

Instead I have taught her calm down techniques. I sit with her when she is having a reaction that may seem a little over the top. But in her eyes she just need help calming down.

A few calm down techniques that I have taught her are: closing her eyes, breathing in and counting her breath all the way to 20 or 30.

Another thing that we do is hug each other or she might hug her mawmaw, or dad, or someone who can help her calm down. But we don’t just hug. We hug and we count to 60.

There are other calm down techniques that you can use to teach your children or even yourself to help you be less reactive and focus more on connection.

Don’t overfill your plate.

As a mom I feel like sometimes we overfill our plates. We feel like there’s so much that we need to do, jam into our days and weeks and months and then this adds to our stress.

So instead of overfilling your plate and your child’s plate with things that don’t really matter that just take up time. Focus on filling your plates with things that you find important, and that your child loves. That way you can find more joy in your day.

Parenting from peace doesn’t have to be difficult.

Parenting from peace takes work and determination every single day but it is possible to become a peaceful parent and to parent from peace not be a reactive parent.

If you are new to the Peaceful Nest Blog, welcome!

Be sure to read my top posts on parenting:

• Why Consistent Parenting Matters
• 12 Habits of Immensely Peaceful Moms
• 63 Mom Hacks That are Pure Genius
• Connect With Your Child and Build Up Their Heart

Are you looking for ways to become a peaceful mom but you aren’t sure how?

I created a free planner for moms like me, who want to create a peaceful home but let the stress of never having it all together defeat them, because who really ever has it together? The best we can do is plan for peace and roll with the punches, right? If you want your free planner you can get it below!

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Most of my readers are moms, who are in the midst of this parenting gig.

I love to give out advice, but there are some topics that I just can’t offer advice on because I haven’t been there.

I also look at mom advice as a good pair of jeans. It’s never a one size fits all. What works for me may not work for you!

That is why I decided to start a segment on the blog that feature interviews and guest posts from other mommas. Maybe you are a momma raising 4 kids under 5 like our guest today. Maybe you have a blended family or you’re raising children unexpectedly later in life, whatever your circumstance may be, my hope is that as more moms share their advice and experience, you will be able to find something that really resonates with you.

Whether it makes you laugh or reminisce and say, hmmmm been there, or yes! finally some tangible advice. My desire is to have a large array of advice for you from moms who have been there or who are there now!

If you want to be interviewed for a guest post or have an idea in mind that you would love to talk about on the Peaceful Nest Blog, send me your ideas here! I would love to hear them!