What is reactive parenting?
What is peaceful parenting? How is it different than reactive parenting? Have you ever been a reactive parent?
What is reactive parenting? Reactive parenting is when you parent with your emotions instead of using your head and heart. We all have been reactive parents before. It’s easy when your child is throwing a tantrum about something that does not make sense, or your child is not listening for the 30th time, etc.
Whatever it may be every person has experienced reactive parenting.
But you do not have to stay stuck as a reactive parent. You can become a more peaceful parent. All it takes is intention and work.
If you want to learn to be a less reactive parent here are 6 of my best tips.
What is peaceful parenting?
Peaceful parenting is when you decide to parent from peace and not with your emotions.
It means that even when your child is melting down you use your head and your logic to help connect to their hearts.
It means that even when you’re having a tough day you choose peace over being reactive.
The truth is we cannot control everything in our lives. We cannot control our children, our spouse, or anything else. But what we can control is ourselves and our reactions to situations. When we decide to let go of control of other people and start focusing on control of ourselves that is when we can start truly practicing peaceful parenting.
Why should we say goodbye to reactive parenting?
Reactive parenting causes more harm than good. It is extremely difficult and actually impossible to help de-escalate a child when you are escalating yourself.
I have noticed with my children that when I am reactive their emotions go up and get more out of control. But when I remain peaceful and calm when interacting with them even when they’re in trouble they remain calmer.
It is hard to not give into reactive parenting especially when you feel like you’ve had enough. However reactive parenting will not help you connect to your child’s heart and get to the root of the real issues going on.
Why should we start practicing peaceful parenting?
Peaceful parenting will help you think with a clear mind and head when interacting with your children. You will be able to look at a situation and think clearly about how to react.
Peaceful parenting also helps your children learn to react to situations calmly because they will take their cues from you.
How can peaceful parenting impact our everyday life and our child’s life?
Peaceful parenting can help you create a peaceful home life for yourself and for your children. People thrive when the atmosphere around them is peaceful. Everyone needs a place where they can come home and feel safe, loved, and peaceful. Your children are no different.
Peaceful parenting will help you create the peaceful atmosphere that you want to and desire for your family.
Not all children are born with the bond of their primary caregiver. If you are parenting a child that comes from a background of trauma it is very important to attempt peaceful parenting in my opinion.
The reason is that traditional discipline styles, parenting styles, etc. do not always work with children who come from trauma. When you’re parenting a child who may have experienced trauma in their past peaceful parenting can help guide you when you are parenting them.
What do I mean by this?
We adopted our child from Vietnam when he was four years old. I won’t go into detail about his story because that’s his to share however his primary bond with his biological parents was severed.
This meant that the way we parented our biological children and disciplined our biological children did not work for him. We learned this very quickly in our training and right after we brought him home.
I have noticed that when I parent him in a peaceful manner including disciplining then he is less likely to escalate with his emotions.
But how do you parent peacefully?
You parent peacefully by putting aside your emotions, looking at the bigger picture, and thinking about the end goal that you have for your children.
It’s hard to de-escalate an escalated child when we are escalated ourselves.
When we are escalated we cannot help a child de-escalate. It’s very simple most children feed off of their parent’s emotions. So if you are upset they will become even more upset. You can parent without emotions and still have boundaries, consequences, and be consistent.
We need to share our calm with our children when they are melting down.
How can peaceful parenting help you have a peaceful and calm day?
Have you ever gotten so upset with your child, a situation, or even with your spouse, and then you let it ruin your entire day? The truth is when we are moms our feelings and our emotions play a huge role in how peaceful our home is.
It’s not always fair but it’s true that the moms or the heartbeat of the home.
If you practice peaceful parenting and set aside your emotions you can create a calm and peaceful atmosphere for your family in turn this will lead to a calm and peaceful day.
No not every day will be calm and peaceful and you will have moments where you struggle with reactive parenting we all do. However, with intention, you can create a calm and peaceful home for your family.
How can you get started with peaceful parenting?
If you’re wondering how to get started with Peaceful parents in here are some tips I can help you get started.
- 12 habits to become a more peaceful mom
- How to stop being a reactive parent
- How to get started with peaceful parenting
- Say goodbye to angry mommy
Start with Consistency
One of the things that help me parent peacefully is staying consistent with my boundaries and my expectations of myself and my children. If you expect your child to behave a certain way then be consistent with expecting this behavior from your child 100% of the time.
For example, I expect my children to listen to me when I ask them not to do something or when I ask them to do something. If for some reason my child is not listening then there are clear consequences for not listening to me.
Another example would be I expect my children to be grateful when interacting with other people especially if somebody gives them something. It’s very easy to forget manners so we started teaching them manners when they were young and sometimes we still have to remind them to say thank you, please, and show appreciation regardless of what the gift is.
Take Care of Yourself
We cannot pour from an empty cup. I know you have heard this before. You have to take care of yourself in order to be a peaceful parent. When you feel like you’re at your ropes and everything annoys you, everything can be a trigger more easily. Make taking care of yourself as a mom a priority.
Evaluate Your Expectations of Yourself and Children
What are you expecting from yourself and from your children? Sometimes we set our expectations for our children and ourselves way too high. When we are expecting our children to do something that’s beyond their capability it’s easier to become a reactive parent when they do not meet those expectations. The same can be said for ourselves. It’s very important to show yourself grace and show your children grace.
It is possible to be a peaceful parent it just takes work and mindfulness.
You can become a peaceful parent. It may take work, and it will take a ton of intention but it is completely possible to turn your household around and stop being a reactive parent and become a more peaceful and calm parent. Here are several tips from my most-read posts that can help you get started being a peaceful parent and creating a peaceful home life for your family.
Related: 14 Best Tips To Overcome Angry Mommy Today
If you are new to the Peaceful Nest Blog, welcome!
Be sure to read my top posts on parenting:
- Why Consistent Parenting Matters
- 12 Habits of Immensely Peaceful Moms
- 63 Mom Hacks That Are Pure Genius
- Connect With Your Child and Build Up Their Heart
Are you looking for ways to become a peaceful mom but you aren’t sure how?
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Hi there, I’m Jenna! I am a devoted mommy and wife. As well as an advocate for children and creating a peaceful atmosphere for those we love. I co-wrote Faith Actually: Living Life After Tragedy with my husband. I have my Bachelor’s Degree in Biblical Studies and currently working toward my Master’s in Positive Psychology. My number one desire is to create a peaceful home life for my family. My second desire is to share with you the tips I learn along the way!