Have you ever walked into a home that emulates peace?
It has been my goal for several years; something I strive for every day is creating a peaceful home. When someone walks into my home, whether a new acquaintance or an old friend, I have noticed that they typically say one of two things.
“Your home is so peaceful.” or “Your home is so cozy.” I group cozy and peaceful together.
In my mind, they go hand in hand.
One of my main priorities is making my home peaceful. Peaceful for myself, peaceful for my kids, and peaceful for my husband.
I want it to be a safe haven from a cruel world.
A place where my family and others can come and feel all their burdens melt away.
So this compliment means the world to me.
I believe most people desire peace in their lives, homes, and families.
The question is, how?
How do you create peace within our homes? Our nests so to speak?
Is it about the decor you choose? The lighting do you have? Is it about the number of pillows and blankets you display?
Or is it something so much deeper?
Creating peace goes so much deeper than what we own.
Creating a peaceful home start with what is inside of us. Are you peaceful?
I know many different areas in our lives can frustrate us.
And I understand that it can become easy to lose our cool.
I get agitated at the smallest inconveniences, losing my cool often.
Do you let your frustration and anger control you?
Are you set on making sure everyone knows that you are the mommy and that if mommy ain’t happy, no one will be happy?
Or Is creating a peaceful atmosphere more important to you than winning an argument or letting your family know you aren’t happy that daddy loaded the dishwasher completely wrong?
Creating peace is not always simple. I have gathered the top three tools I use to create a home that emulates peace and comfort.
Here are three tips to help you on your way to a more peaceful home life today.
1. When creating a peaceful home, remember to be at peace with yourself.
I notice that I am the most cranky and unkind to those around me when I am stressed, insecure, or unsure about myself.
My mind may be elsewhere, and then my daughter does something that pushes me a tiny bit.
I snap.
Most of the time, that little offense was not worth a raised eyebrow. Let alone a snappy response.
I know I am not the only one.
Taking the time to look out for yourself and ensure your stress level is down will make it easier to create a peaceful environment.
You know that old saying, “if momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy?” As funny as that sounds, our children feed off their mother’s energy.
They can feel it when they are stressed, hurt, or anxious. It, in turn, makes them stressed, hurt, or anxious.
The same goes for our husbands.
But aren’t they the head of the household? Aren’t they grown men?
True. But there is a reason God created males and females.
Women truly are the heart of the home and, in turn, the heart of society.
We have the ability to make or break our family’s spirits. We must decide daily if we will build our home up or tear it down one minor offense at a time.
The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.
Proverbs 14:1
2. When creating a peaceful home, something that helps is to take a break.
Cliche right?
We hear that all the time.
But I am a mom.
I am a woman.
Surely, I can do it all. I can do everything.
HEAR ME ROAR!
The reality is all those help books are onto something.
We CAN’T do it all.
No matter how much we want to tell ourselves, we can. We need a village.
Back in the day, people and women especially were more connected than we are today with those around them.
We may be more social online because of technology, but there is a disconnect.
We try to do it all, and then we look around and realize we have no one to fall back on when we need help.
I encourage you.
If you find yourself roaring like a lion (not in a good way) to those around you …
TAKE A BREAK.
Whether it is a break from work, your kids, your family, or society.
Whether it is 5 minutes or 5 days.
Maybe it is just a break to your bedroom, alone for 5 minutes. Maybe it is a trip for 5 days alone or with your spouse.
Whatever it may be.
Take it.
Make a break a priority.
You are doing no favors by trying to do everything and stressing yourself out to the breaking point.
Do yourself a favor and refresh.
Come back re-energized from that break and start over.
3. Another thing to remember while creating a peaceful home is that you don’t know what someone is going through. Try to be kind to everyone you meet.
Technically those are two things, but I believe they go hand in hand.
We really do not know what someone is going through.
Keeping that thought in your head will help you focus on being kind to everyone.
Whether it is the person, you are holding the door open for, the slow driver in front of you, or a family member.
In 2011, my husband and I lost our son David, he was six days old and died in my arms. Two days after he passed away, I went to the local CVS to have the photos of his last day developed.
We called first to see if they were ready.
It had taken hours longer than what was expected. I was growing weary and impatient.
I had just had an emergency c-section a little over a week before. My body was more than sore. And I was in quite a bit of pain.
I hadn’t been sleeping because I had recurring dreams about David’s death.
I was more than tired; I was exhausted.
My milk had come in, and I had been pumping non-stop for six days.
Then, David died, and my body didn’t seem to understand that he was gone.
My milk kept coming. I had to pump and dump.
That felt like some cruel joke my body was playing on me.
I had all of these things on my mind, plus my grief over losing my son.
The lady who was on the phone with me was extremely hateful.
I remember hearing her impatience with me in the tone of her voice.
When I went to pick up the pictures, I was met with the same hateful woman. Rude.
She had an air about her that made it seem like she thought she was better than everyone else.
The hatefulness remained at the store. She was snappy and impatient with me.
I held my tongue, although I didn’t want to. A part of me wanted to lay into her. A part of me wanted to scream, “I just watched my son die in my arms, lady, I don’t have time for your self-entitled rudeness.”
But then I stopped myself.
You see, this lady did not know that I had just lost my son.
I was just some Jane Doe that came in off the street to her.
Should that have mattered?
No, I believe you should be kind to everyone for this very reason.
In the same way, she didn’t know what was going on in my life, I did not know what was going on in her life either.
Maybe she had just lost her son too.
Or maybe she was going through a divorce.
Maybe she was struggling financially.
Or maybe she was just having a really bad day.
I don’t know, and I will never know.
That day, however, reaffirmed in my mind the importance of being kind to everyone you meet.
Watch our book trailer for Faith Actually: Living Life After Tragedy
Kindness is contagious.
It’s just like smiling. When you do it, other people will too. When you are kind, the peace will wash over you like a flood.
And when you walk into a peaceful atmosphere, something inside of you changes, then your burdens melt away, and you start to feel safe from a cruel world.
Finding peace in the chaos is just too important not to try.
If you are new to the Peaceful Nest Blog, welcome!
Be sure to read my top posts on parenting:
- Why Consistent Parenting Matters
- 12 Habits of Immensely Peaceful Moms
- 63 Mom Hacks That are Pure Genius
- Connect With Your Child and Build Up Their Heart
- 13 Ways to Stop Being a Cranky Mom
- How To Parent From Peace
Are you looking for ways to become a peaceful mom, but you aren’t sure how?
I created a free planner for moms like me who want to create a peaceful home but let the stress of never having it all together defeat them because who really ever has it together? The best we can do is plan for peace and roll with the punches, right? If you want your free planner you can get it below!
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