Happy day! How did re-evaluating your expectations of yourself go yesterday? It can be hard to admit that we can’t do it all as moms! Now we are going to talk about our kids.
It’s day 8 of the 14 Days of Peaceful Parenting Challenge! Today, we are going to take a look at our expectations for our kids. Are they realistic and achievable? Or do we expect too much from them?
We can become frustrated with our kids when they don’t meet our expectations, but it’s important to remember that different children will grow and learn at different rates. Let’s create new expectations for our children that are realistic and achievable for them!
One way to do this is to look at what our child can do now.
What are their strengths and weaknesses? We can’t expect them to be able to do things they aren’t developmentally ready for. For example, a two-year-old can’t read or write as well as a five-year-old.
We also need to take into account the age of our child.
As they get older, we can expect more from them. But don’t forget that there will always be new challenges and goals as our children grow!
It’s important that we set expectations for our kids that challenge them but are still achievable.
If everything is too easy for them, they won’t learn and will become bored. On the other hand, if everything is too hard for them, they will become discouraged and give up.
We should also keep in mind that our expectations need to be age-appropriate. We can’t expect a two-year-old to clean their room or do chores like we would expect a ten-year-old to do.
It’s important to communicate our expectations with our children as well.
This way, they know what is expected of them, and there won’t be any surprises. They can also help us achieve our goals by working together!
Setting realistic and achievable expectations for our kids is one of the most important things we can do as parents! It will help them grow and learn and make life a lot less frustrating for all of us!
Today’s challenge plays off of yesterday’s challenge. What are your expectations of your children?
If our expectations are too high of ourselves, then we typically find that our expectations for our children are also too high. Our children are little people with their own thoughts, feelings, and ideas. Our expectations do not define them.
However, if we continuously create high expectations for our children, what happens when they cannot meet them can be detrimental to their development. I say that because if your child is constantly trying for a high, unrealistic expectation and fails to meet those expectations, they will start beating themselves up and asking, what is wrong with me?
No one wants their children to think anything is wrong with them.
It is normal to want our children to succeed further than we ever have. However, having that type of mentality can be hard and even detrimental to our children and their health, and their mental health as well. What expectations are you setting for your child? There is nothing wrong with wanting our children to excel beyond what they can do easily. We don’t want everything to be too easy for our kids. We want them to challenge themselves.
However, if you are setting expectations that your child needs to get straight A’s every time and they happen to get a B- once even after studying, you yell at them and belittle them. Your expectations are too high. Nobody can be perfect at every single thing. People can be great at several things, but nobody can be perfect at every little thing. If you’re setting your child’s expectations too high, you are setting them up to fail. They will wonder what is wrong with them. When they fail, they will not realize that everybody fails in life.
When they fall, are you there to help them, lift them up and encourage them? Or are you beating them down because they didn’t meet your expectations? I know these are difficult questions to ask yourself, and I am guilty, but they are important questions for the peace of your household.
What are your expectations of your child? Are they realistic?
Today’s challenge:
Think about your expectations for your kids. Are they realistic and achievable? If not, what can you change so that they are?
One way to do this is to ask yourself the following questions:
What can my child do now? What are their strengths and weaknesses? How will my expectations change as my child gets older? What is an appropriate expectation for my child’s age group? Will communicating my expectations help achieve our mutual goals? Are there any challenges or goals I want to set for my child that hasn’t been done before?
These questions should help get the wheels turning!
Happy Parenting! 🙂
Jenna Jury
If you are new to the Peaceful Nest Blog, welcome!
Be sure to read my top posts on parenting:
- Why Consistent Parenting Matters
- 12 Habits of Immensely Peaceful Moms
- 63 Mom Hacks That Are Pure Genius
- Connect With Your Child and Build Up Their Heart
- 14 Ways to Say Goodbye to Angry Mom
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Hi there, I’m Jenna! I am a devoted mommy and wife. As well as an advocate for children and creating a peaceful atmosphere for those we love. I co-wrote Faith Actually: Living Life After Tragedy with my husband. I have my Bachelor’s Degree in Biblical Studies and currently working toward my Master’s in Positive Psychology. My number one desire is to create a peaceful home life for my family. My second desire is to share with you the tips I learn along the way!