A Letter To My Strong-Willed Child
Dear strong-willed child,
When you were in my womb I told people you were going to be my calm child. Your sister, is also strong-willed, so I prayed against all odds that you would be calm.
Never pushing your boundaries.
Gentle, meek and kind.
I prayed and God laughed at me.
Instead He gave me another little girl who was 10x more stubborn and bull-headed than her big sister.
I’m sure He still laughs at me.
When you were born I knew right away that you were going to be strong-willed. Maybe it was something in your eyes.
That sparkle.
That mischievous smile, the same one you still have today. It could have been that first night in the hospital with you.
You didn’t sleep a wink.
Your daddy went home to be with your big sis.
It was just you and me kiddo.
No matter what I tried you would not sleep. I was determined you wouldn’t be getting a pacifier. Your sister had one and it was a pain to get rid of.
Exhausted, I handed you over to the nurse.
Three hours later I woke up and you had a darn pacifier in your mouth. It was like you knew mommy didn’t want you to have it. I fought it at first, but then eventually I caved.
Your strong will showed itself that very first night.
But I didn’t realize how much of a determined and strong-willed child you truly were until you were a year old.
Your sister took a toy from you.
Like she always did.
This time you didn’t cry and run to me. This time you marched right up to her, grabbed your toy out of her hand and then you pushed her.
We constantly told her, and your cousins, that you were going to grow bigger one day and stand your ground.
We told them to watch out, to quit taking things from you just because you were smaller.
I didn’t know one day would come so soon.
Your sister was so shell-shocked, she forgot to cry.
One years old.
You were already holding your own.
Don’t tell your sister, but I was proud of you for sticking up for yourself.
Of course I scolded you for pushing and I scolded her for taking your toy in the first place.
Still, I realized that day, you will not tolerate someone walking all over you, that even at one years old, you would hold your own.
I was proud.
A few days later you started climbing on everything you saw. Stools, stairs, chairs. You tried to climb out of your pack n’ play.
At two years old you fell out of your crib while trying to climb out. That day we switched to a big girl bed. A year sooner than mommy wanted to.
That night, after transitioning your crib to the toddler bed, you strolled to the bed (which was your crib with the side off) and climbed over the side. Rolling into your bed, you looked at me, grinned and yelled “I did it!”
I realized that day, your determination was a force that guided you, nothing gets in your way. You will not allow one fall to keep you down.
I was proud.
Read the simple way I potty trained my two year old.
When you were a year and a half we took a beach vacation with our entire family.
We thought it would be fun to take photos on the beach with all of us wearing white.
As we were getting ready, you grabbed my red lipstick and tried to put some on. I told you no, you were wearing white. If you have red lipstick, you’ll get it all over you before the photos.
What ensued was the tantrum of the year.
We struggled to get you down to the beach.
You plopped yourself down in the sand and refused to smile. After the photos I put you in the water, you looked up at me and gave me the prettiest smile of the night.
I was amused and proud.
I also cannot wait to show your future husband these photos one day.
My dearest strong-willed child, I want you to know that even though you test me and push my boundaries, I love your personality exactly the way it is.
You may ask me for something after I say no, over and over again, thirty times.
You may know I won’t give in, but you still ask.
Your will to have what you desire may wear on me a little but I know from life experience, this very attribute will take you far.
Your determination will take you where you desire to go, my strong-willed child, as long as you continue to work for what you want.
You see my strong-willed child, not everyone has your best interest at heart.
Not everyone sees the bright light inside of you.
Many people fall to the wayside in life, allowing others to take from them, never asking for anything in return.
Their fire burns out.
I know that you will not allow that to happen to you.
How do I know?
I know because I say no to you at least 100 times a day, you still continue to ask me for that one thing you want 101 times.
The WILL inside of you will set a fire if you allow it. It will take you to the edges of the earth, igniting your passions and paving a way that is uniquely your own.
If you remember anything that I tell you, please remember this.
I may have prayed for a calm child, but I am glad that God has given you, and everything that you are, to me, my beautiful, strong-willed child.
Your strong-will is not a bad thing.
No matter how many people huff and tell you that you are just to darn stubborn, don’t listen to them.
Be kind but be true to who you are.
Hold on to your convictions, believe in yourself, and love yourself. And always hold on to that strong-will. Because one day, my determined child, you will change the world.
I am proud of you.
Read I allow my child to dress herself. Here’s why.
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